


Got Nothing On Us

by kittenbath



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Regrets It, Poor Loki, Reader Is Crazy, They'll Probably Get Together Soon, Thor Ain't That Dumb, i think, lots of references, okay maybe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 04:38:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5320760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenbath/pseuds/kittenbath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Competitions were fun, yeah, but you know what's even better?<br/>Messing with the people that are actually serious about it.<br/>It's funny, I assure you.<br/>~~~<br/>Thor AU<br/>Twelve maidens competing for the heart of the oldest prince of Asgard~and unfortunately, you managed to get roped in it.<br/>So...what else is there for you to do except help Prince Loki mess with their efforts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ~Prologue~

As you dumped your luggage and flopped onto your bed, you sighed with relief and content. For the past few days, you and your team been competing in a Nationals dance competition, and yeah, you won first place in the solo jazz event, but honestly? You were just happy to be back in your warm, welcoming, comforting bed.

Then you had to go to class in, like, four hours, and more dance practice after that. And then go to a meeting for Mock Trial. Then hightail it over to the pool for swim practice. And then you got a job at the local cafe near your apartment.

Right now, though, you didn’t want to think about that. All that tension, the fighting, the constant fight for victory evident at the competition was incredibly stupid. Just because you chose to join one of the most competitive dance teams in the state doesn’t mean you have to succumb to their rivalry based ambition. All you wanted to do was lie down, read a book, eat the cupcakes you bought earlier…

Yes. That sounded like heaven.

As you snuggled with the covers, you licked your lips at the anticipation of both the new novel you planned to read and the cupcake you were about to eat. Moments like this were rare, moments where nothing was scheduled, nothing was running late, nothing needed to be done…

Except…

Last week’s and this week’s mail sat beside you, right in the place where you left it earlier after picking it up from your neighbor. Sighing, you put down your book and instantly, strength drained out of your body at the prospect of having to do something else. Your eyes wavered on the mail for a second, until you violently shook your head, making a decision. 

“Nope, Y/N. Priorities,” you muttered happily, picking up the book once more. “Yummy, yummy books and cupcakes!”

You had meant to read up until at least the fifth chapter, as the tensions going on in the last book were practically unbearable if you tried to stop, but over time, slowly but surely, your eyes began to close on their own accord. Fighting to keep them up, you told yourself that moments like these were incredibly hard to come by, and if you slept, you would miss it. But…

Another part of you said that sleep was the best way you could ever spend this precious time on. Eventually, your body gave in and, upon faltering, your grip allowed your book to fall with a thud, resulting in the last sound you would hear on Earth for a while.

~~~~~~

Your eyes were still closed, and you thought you were still dreaming when your subconscious became aware of the high-pitched chatter that surrounded you. Of course, still half-asleep, it didn’t actually registered in your mind until somebody nudged you with their foot.

Upon hearing several giggles, your eyes slowly crept open. Sitting up, you began rubbing them, before you remembered that you had a class. Immediately, you reached for your phone on the nightstand...which somehow turned into a foot.

“What the-” Your eyes shot open, and coming with it was the realization that you were not in your apartment anymore.


	2. ~Here To Take You Out~

Sitting up, you raised your eyebrow at the group of women that have gathered around you. “Hi?”

They paused on your somewhat-of-a-greeting, then continued to giggle. “I think it’s quite obvious now that she is indeed Midgardian,” tittered a blonde woman in blue.

“A what?” You tried to stand up, but the heels you wore made that extremely difficult, considering that you seldom wore them, even in formal events.

Wait...heels?

Looking down, you realized that you had on entire green gown adorned with sparkling slivers of what looked like diamonds. And your shoes...they looked like shiny medieval torture devices! The hall you were in, though…

It was huge. And golden. And very, very shiny.

“Um…” You attempted to get your words out while trying to look as dignified as you can with heels you had absolutely no business wearing. “Where exactly am I?”

Another woman rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t even know where she is.”

“Midgardians have been known to be...the simple type,” snickered another.

“I heard that they drink out of plastic,” a third one loudly whispered.

Rolling your eyes at their excessive laughing, you pointed to yourself with one hand while steadying yourself with the other. “Hello? I’m literally standing three feet away. Seriously though, where am I?”

Mentally preparing yourself for another insulting response, you were startled when a different voice, a male one, answered, saying, “In the Asgard palace, my lady! Why anywhere else?”

You jumped about ten feet into the air before ungracefully falling over, causing a table to topple over in the process. Surprisingly, you didn’t catch any snickering, just a bunch of high-pitched squeals. Honestly, you would have preferred the laughing.

“Hello, my prince,” the blonde woman purred, before slipping behind you to rest her arm under his. “Is it time for the ball?”

The “prince” chuckled before shrugging her off, much to her obvious dismay. “In a few minutes,my lady. Father Odin is still greeting the guests.”

She was about to say something else, but then you “happened” to interrupt. “Wait, wait, wait. I still don’t get it! Where am I and what am I doing here?”

The woman behind you sighed sharply in exasperation before flicking your elbow. “If you don’t want to be here, you can simply leave,” she growled in your ear.

Scoffing, you turned around and came closer to her face. “You know, if I knew where the exit was, yeah, I’d probably leave!”

Laughing, the blonde prince clapped your shoulder, causing you to nearly fall over again. “Oh, you are a joy, my Lady. Pretending not to know where the exit is! I will look forward to your company soon,” he said, before waving a hand to signal his departure.

Blinking, you shook your head slowly in confusion before your head was forcefully twisted in the opposite direction. Glaring right at your face, a brown-haired girl snarled at you, “Do you really think that the prince would want to spend time with you?”

Raising an eyebrow, you replied, a bit bewildered, “Um...maybe?”

“He was simply being polite!” And with that, she released you, but in the next second, her hand was flying towards your face in what seemed like an inevitable slap. Luckily, you caught her wrist just before her hand made impact.

Staring at it for a bit, you shook your head in disbelief. “Did...did you seriously just try to slap me?”

When you didn’t hear an answer, you looked back at her perfectly sculpted face, which at the moment, seemed to have lost its malicious intent. “And...if I did?”

“Oh, it is on now, witch,” you growled, pulling your heels off and throwing them off to the side. “You’re gonna wish you were never born!”. 

~~~~~~

“Are you excited, brother?”

Loki rolled his eyes while his head rested on his hands. “What do you think, Thor?”

“I hope you are!” the older prince of Asgard exclaimed, leaning forward in anticipation. “I have visited the hall simply to see if they were ready, and already there was one that captured my attention through sheer humor!”

“How fortunate for you, brother,” Loki replied, still in the same position. Of course Thor was excited. All of these ladies were competing for his hand in marriage, a random selection of twelve maidens from the nine realms (mostly Asgard), but obviously, they were eager all the same.

And there the trickster god was, expected to stand beside Thor and “help” him get along with the maidens and make sure nothing went “wrong.” As if he’d actually do such a thing.

If he got the opportunity, he might just want to make things a little more...interesting.

“Loki! The AllFather is about to announce their arrival!” Thor said, his impatience becoming more and more evident, along with Loki’s annoyance.

“And without further delay,” boomed the mighty voice of Lord Odin, “-may I present: the lovely ladies chosen for the Selection!”

With a great trumpet procession, the magnificent golden doors swung open to reveal eleven women with tattered clothes and horrified expressions as they stared at the crowd. Immediately, Loki sat up, his interest reignited.

“What…” Thor was rendered unable to speak as his eyes were cast on his beaten suitors. As Loki watched his brother’s expression, he could not deny the small smirk that gave way afterwards.

A brown-haired maiden, whose clothes seemed to be the worst off, limped forward. “My-my prince, I promise you, we did not intend to portray ourselves in such a way!”

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes before another maiden caught his eye, one that was hiding behind a guard and was silently trying to tiptoe away. Unfortunately, she fell down and knocked over a servant who was holding an enormous plate of drinks. 

His smirk grew as the other girls pointed a glare in her direction. The maiden who stepped forward threw an accusing finger in her path. “It was her! The Midgardian!”

You closed your eyes and, pursing your lips, stood up and crossed your arms as she continued to rant. “She-she attacked us all after we offered our services, as she was the only one of her kind here, we were simply offering our companionship!”

“You slapped me!” you reminded her.

“Lies!” She stepped towards you, but you stuffed a pastry in her mouth. 

“Please try not to talk, sweetheart,” you chortled, “You’re lowering my IQ.”


	3. ~Gonna Take You Down~

Needless to say, that incident earned you quite the reputation among the palace. 

However, it was only when the blonde prince of Asgard came to comfort his suitors did somebody finally explain to you what was going on.

“So...I’m in Asgard?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m a contestant for…”

“The competition in which the winner receives my brother’s hand in marriage.”

“And I can’t leave because…”

“You are bound by an oath, and if broken, you die.”

“And I’m wearing a dress because…”

“It appeals to the eye.”

“Right…” you trailed off, looking behind you at the blonde prince the man you were talking to claimed to be Thor, the Norse god of thunder. It all seemed too...surreal. And yet, the only thing you thought at that point in time was that you had a final next Tuesday. “If this is Asgard, and there are gods and stuff…”

The raven-haired man crossed his arms as he waited for you to finish. Throwing your arms down, you shook your head, grinning slightly, “I don’t even know what to ask anymore.”

“You haven’t gone insane, I assure you.”

“Oh yeah, I can definitely trust the guy wearing a golden helmet with reindeer horns.”

“No. You really can’t.”

Sighing, you looked out towards the crowd, who mostly paid attention to the crying women as Prince Thor comforted each of them. “Why me, though?”

“I don’t know,” replied the man haughtily as he observed his fingernails. “Do you not want to be here? Or have a chance at marrying my brute of a brother?”

Scoffing, you stole a glance at the blonde prince and shook your head.”Are you seriously asking me whether or not I want to marry a guy I don’t even know?”

Raising an eyebrow, he tilted his head at you curiously. “Well, you can’t leave.”

“I know.”

“Then what are you going to do?”

“I...don’t know,” you admitted. “Is there a queen or something that I can beg to let me go?”

“It will depend on whether or not this so called begging will involve shredding my clothes,” an amused voice came behind you.

Immediately you turned around, and upon being greeted with the warm eyes of the queen, began to open and close your mouth like an idiot. “Um, I…”

She laughed softly as you attempted to do a half-curtsy or a half-bow in front of her. As you got up, your face flushed, she spoke, “I happen to know for a fact that this set of young ladies are very intent on taking the heart of my eldest son. Already they have shown evidence of being a bit...competitive.”

“They’re idiots,” you heard the raven-haired man mutter.

“So...I must know...do you also intend on attempting to open his heart, maiden?” she asked, smiling gently.

“Umm...If I say no, do I get to go home?” you asked hopefully.

Her laughter was enough to get your answer. “Young maiden, you were not chosen randomly. Odin has a specific criteria for which to choose my dear Thor’s wife,” she explained patiently.

Scoffing, you crossed your arms and muttered, “Figures I’d qualify for a competition I didn’t even sign up for. It’s Colorguard all over again.”

“Did you say something, maiden?”

You brightened up before shaking your head. “Nope!”

She watched you for a second before pursing her lips. “I truly do apologize, maiden. Indeed, my husband did not expect for any of the ladies to be unwilling to compete for my son’s hand in marriage.”

Sighing, you shrugged your shoulders before smiling sadly. “You know what? It’s fine, really. I’ll just...stay out of the way, then.”

The queen nodded before clasping your shoulder. “I agree, that would be best.”

~~~~~~

Loki watched the previously filled room as it began to empty dramatically. The ladies were being escorted to their rooms in the palace, and the servants were beginning to clean up. He attempted to stop himself from thinking about the events that occurred, but it was inevitable.

Frigga had forced him to talk to that Midgardian, and remain polite through the whole thing, she commanded. She thought you seemed confused about the whole ordeal, and could use a bit of an explanation.

He thought that when he did so, you would immediately turn to his brother and begin fighting for his attention as well. Midgardians craved power, after all.

What he didn’t expect was that you never wanted to come here in the first place, and still wanted to go home after finding out what you were accepted for. It was...interesting.

Perhaps he wouldn’t stay as far from the Selection as he initially stated.


	4. ~Here To Take You Down~

Honestly, the bed was amazing.

The sleep you got almost made up for the fact that you were going to miss class, practice, and your job for who knows how long, considering that when you woke up, you felt better than you did when you went to bed. It was like breaking the laws of physics. You definitely wouldn’t have woken up had the pounding on your door not been consistent and very annoying. 

“COME IN!” you bellowed after unsuccessfully trying to ignore the sound. A black-haired woman stepped in and smiled at you. Or, at least, what she could see of you from under the covers. 

“Are you still sleeping maiden?” she laughed, shaking her head.

“Not anymore,” you muttered, throwing the soft covers to the floor. Stretching, you looked back at her as you asked, “Was there something you needed?”

“Ah, yes,” she said, stepping closer to you as you began to brush your hair. “I am Lady Sif, and Prince Thor has asked me to greet each of the maidens in his Selection personally,” she explained.

“Wait…” you dropped the brush before turning to the black-haired woman excitedly. “Sif? As in, the goddess who got her hair chopped off by Loki?”

She sighed sharply before rolling her eyes. “How does everyone in the nine realms know that?”

“But you grew it back!” you insisted, but in that moment, a fact suddenly occurred to you. “Hold on a sec...aren’t you supposed to be married to Thor?” you asked slowly.

She began to laugh, but it sounded forced in your ears. “Prince Thor and I are simply good companions,” she said softly, shrugging.

Raising an eyebrow, you nodded. “Uh huh.”

Obviously, she didn’t want to talk about it to a random stranger. “I assure you-”

“Aw, don’t worry, I won’t press,” you giggled, turning to pick up the glass on the nightstand. Before drinking it, you waggled your eyebrows and whispered, “I still ship it.”

She stood there with a confused expression for a few moments before shaking her head. Upon her smile returning, Sif began to walk towards the door. “Well, if you need anything, just call me, Lady…”

“Y/N,” you stated, grinning. “Y/N, the Amazing, Super-Fun, Super-Talented and Incredibly Gorgeous!”

“Lady Y/N,” she repeated, her smile widening. 

Pouting, you pointed your upturned mouth at her. “You forgot some of it.”

Sif laughed again before stepping out. “I look forward to what you will do during the Talent Exhibition, Lady Y/N!”

“Gee, thanks!” you yelled back, before the realization dawned on you. “Wait...Talent Exhibition?”

~~~~~~

Perhaps hiding in the confines of the palace library would have been better than staying for the Talent Exhibition.

It certainly appealed to him now, when he was being forced to watch one lady after another either sing or do something uninteresting of the sort. Really, the only reason he came was because he had a feeling it would be just as interesting as the ball held to introduce them.

Of course, his mother insisted otherwise, commenting that you, as an indifferent participant, would most likely not show up at all. However, Loki never knew his instincts to be wrong, so he came anyways. Yet...after seeing eleven maidens generally do the same thing, he was ready to call it off and simply disappear. 

He heard applause come from both his sides as the eleventh took a bow after her...song? Interpretive dance?  
Confound it all, it doesn’t even matter. What does is getting out of here as soon as possi…  
You walked in, head high, and glaring eyes aimed at the maiden who just finished. Narrowing your eyes, you thrust your middle finger in her direction, much to Loki’s confusion. Perhaps it was a tradition they had on Midgard?

Upon the previous performer’s exit, you turned to look up and instantly smiled. “Hi!” 

“Greetings, Lady Y/N,” greeted Sif from Thor’s right.

Odin stood up, asking you, “And what skill do you intend to show us, maiden?”

“Well…” You grinned and tilted your head. “I’m going to dance!”

Oh…

Loki slumped down his seat slightly and sighed. Unfortunately, this was going to be the time when his intuition would be...

“And I’m going to recite Shakespeare to the tune of “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” by The Offspring!”

...right. For him to actually be wrong, well, that was unthinkable.

“Ah, well…” Odin sat back down, apparently rendered speechless, making Loki that much more eager to see you perform.

“Okay, then!” you exclaimed, suddenly slipping into your splits (Hee hee, alliteration).

“Two households, both alike in dignity   
In fair Verona where we lay our scene  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands uncle-ean!”

Your singing was choppy, that much was clear, but to the youngest prince of Asgard, the content of them seemed quite interesting. However, it was not the words that attained most of the attention; it was your dancing.Honestly, none of the other ladies who danced could even come close to compare, as your dance was far from traditional. 

The turns seemed to last for centuries, and the flexibility you exposed during your leaps and leg-holds impressed even Loki. It became apparent that the only reason you bothered singing was to show off how easy it was for you to do what you do. For a few moments, everyone present in your performance forgot that you were, indeed, a simple Midgardian.

Except Loki. You didn’t want to win this competition, yet you did your best to try to impress the royals of Asgard. Everyone had motives for what they did, and he had a guess at what yours was.


	5. ~Down To Take You Out~

There had a lot of great moments, from the time you aced that Shakespeare essay, to the instance where you won another trophy for your team upon winning the solo hip-hop event. But this…

This was the best.

At first, when you found out about the Talent Exhibition, you decided to simply sit it out and do something else. Then she showed up.

~~~~~~

Your eyes scanned left and right for the hallway the maid mentioned that led to the library. You were kind of hoping that the libraries here were the same as back home, because as it turned out, there was no Wi-Fi. 

Who else would that have killed?

Unfortunately, every single hallway looked the same to you, golden pathways with towering pillars, torches lining the walls and ten foot windows spanning them as well. It was aggravating. “Greetings, Midgardian.”

Blinking, you turned towards the voice and began to smile, until you realized it was the brown-haired girl that dissed you last night. “..Hi.”

She smiled in a friendly way, but her eyes told you that it was anything but. “I hope you don’t mind me inquiring, but I am just curious to what you plan to do in the Talent Exhibition?” she asked, raising her eyebrow inquisitively.

“Oh,” you waved a hand, “I’m actually not going.”

Gasping, she tilted her head. “You aren’t?”

After you shook your head, she sighed. “It’s too bad, really. You could have easily-”

“Beat the curry out of everybody else?” you finished, examining your fingernails.

The maiden laughed in that way considered “proper,” before replying, “No, of course not. You’re Midgardian.”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms, and the back of your mind anticipated a repeat of last night. “And..?”

“And nothing! You are Midgardian!” she cackled. “A mortal, no less! Alive for less than a hundred years! Your skills, if you have any, are less than exemplary compared to an Asgardian’s!”

Oh, that did it.

~~~~~~

Strutting out of a room with dropped jaws felt really good, even if you did sing like an idiot.

Oh, well. They didn’t know who Shakespeare or The Offspring were anyways. What matters is that-

“What did you do, Midgardian?” tittered the voice of one of the other women.

“What do you think I did...ugly...lady?” you hesitated, struggling with your insult.

She rolled her eyes nonchalantly and turned away, but was immediately hit with an opening door. Immediately, you were greeted with two face-shattering grins directed at you. As she rubbed her nose, Lady Sif came up behind you and clapped your back. “Lady Y/N, you were incredible!”

“Indeed,” came the voice of a man with swept blond hair and a blinding smile. “T’was a performance worthy of Valhalla!”

“Aw, thanks,” you gushed dramatically, holding a hand to your choose and looking pointedly at the brown-haired woman, who was currently blinking in confusion. “Do you guys want an encore? Or maybe want to give one of those yummy crispy biscuits from the ball last night? Those were good.”

“Well, no,” Sif admitted. “We only came to congratulate you, and to inform you that their highnesses were quite enthralled by your performance, also!”

“Oh…” Well, that’s not what you wanted. You were about to say something else, when one of the other girls butt in. 

“That’s impossible!” she cried out, glaring at you. “What could that Midgardian have done that had singled her out of Asgardians?”

“Not be obsessed with marrying someone I didn’t know that well,” you said under your breath.

The blonde haired man’s eyes widened as he turned to you. “You are of Midgard?”

“Um...pretty sure?” you answered hesitantly. “That’s not, like, a bad name here, right?”  
You heard a scoff from behind you. “T’is of the worst sort.”

Rolling his eyes, the man flashed his blinding teeth at you as he held his hand out. “Do not worry, my lady. It only means that you are from the realm of Earth.”

“Oh! Well, that’s good,” you said, relieved, as you shook his hand. 

“I am Fandral,” he said, with a smile. “I suppose you already know Sif?”

“Uh huh,” you answered. “The one who got her hair chopped off and cried about it.”

As Fandral burst out laughing, Sif rolled her eyes pointedly at you. “Did we not agree that discussion to remain between us?”

“No,” you replied, furrowing your brows. “To be honest, though, I wouldn’t have expected it to stay that way even if you did say that.”

“Lady Y/N, you are a delight,” commented Fandral as he began to lead you towards the hall, Sif following close behind. “I must introduce you to my comrades, Hogun and Volstagg!”

“Oh, now I remember who you are!” you exclaimed, slapping your hand to your forehead. “You’re one of the Warriors Three!”

Chuckling, Sif began walking beside you. “You are not without intelligence, either.”

“I know! It’s how I found my way outside!”

~~~~~~

Thor shook his head as Lady Sif and Fandral left the room to congratulate the last woman, Lady Y/N, he believed was her name. According to his mother, you were the maiden that was taken to the Selection without your prior permission or desire. Surprised and amused that that was the reason why you fought the rest of the women, he had wanted to bend that rule, but it was unfortunately bound by a life oath.

Yet, you highly impressed him at the Talent Exhibition today. And he wasn’t the only one.

If all Midgardians had skills like that…

“She was lying,” Thor suddenly heard the voice of his younger brother say.

Raising an eyebrow, he sneaked a peek at his parents, who were busy discussing something, before turning to Loki. “Lying about what, brother?”

Loki shook his head as he glared at Thor. “About not wishing to engage in your little competition. She wanted to deceive the others into thinking she does not wish to participate in order to catch them off guard!” he exclaimed, sitting up on his seat.

Thor laughed a bit before leaning back. Picking up his hammer and flipping it in the air, he replied, “Loki, I think you are overreacting a bit. She does not seem the type to do such a thing.”

“We’ll see about that,” the trickster muttered, his gaze purposely raking over his brother’s appearance. 

~~~~~~

“-there’ll be peace when you are done,” you sang quietly as you briskly walked through the halls of the palace once again. What you really needed right now was a good library with a set of Sherlock Holmes’ books. That afternoon with Sif’s friends seriously tired you out, especially after they found out that you knew how to fight a little.

If by a little, you mean being a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do and going your fourth year in fencing.

Books sounded wonderful.

Sighing internally as you opened a door that led to a broom closet, you wondered that if they did have Sherlock, then would they be the same as on Earth? Like, same mysteries? Same criminals? Same fluff between Sherlock and Watson?

Not like you shipped them. At all.

“OH MY TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” you nearly shouted when you finally opened the doors that led to...you guessed it...a library.

Big, huge, lots-of-books library.

Unfortunately, this happiness only lasted for a few seconds after you ran your fingers across the bindings of the books because you realized that they were organized in a way that was not the Dewey Decimal System.

Which, actually, wouldn’t have been useful for you. You didn’t know what that was, except that it had something to do with books.

Now if it was alphabetical…

“Hello, Y/N.”

Startled, you dropped the book you were just holding, and as it fell to the ground with a heavy thud, you looked up at the intruder. The smiling face of Prince Thor stood in front of you. 

“Um...Hey...your...highness,” you said, forming some kind of crane-pose-slash-curtsy with your body. “What...um, what brings you here?”

His grin widened as he walked over to pick up the book that fell. “I just thought I could spend time with the maiden that has managed to capture my heart. Is that a crime?”

“Well, as long as you’re not going to kill me-wait. Say...Wait, what?” your arms fell to your sides and you tilted your head, extremely confused. “Please tell me that ‘captured my heart’ is Asgardian lingo for, like, stepped on the foot of. It is, right?”

Thor laughed as he took you into his arms. “You are truly a delight, Lady Y/N. For you, I would call of the entire Selection and take you as my wife.”

“Okie dokie,” you said, pushing his arms away and smiling back, although you prayed you didn’t look as panicked as you felt. “But, huh, here’s the thing,” you lengthened the phrase to give yourself time to think of an excuse. “-I’m, uh, already married!”

An eyebrow crept up on his face as he let go of you. “You are married?”

Nodding frantically, you replied quickly, “Yeah! And he, like, gets reeeally jealous when I try to marry other people, because, you know, we’re married and stuff, so...“ You knew you were beginning to ramble, so you began to simply back away, but as you turned to leave, he suddenly appeared in front of you.

You gulped as he took your shoulders and went down to your level. “You’re lying.”

Blinking, you wet your mouth before replying. “How do...you know...you’re not lying?”

“You’re stalling.”

Huffing, you crossed your arms and looked away. “When did you become such an expert in liars?”

“I was always one.”

“Then why did Odin give you with the throne?” you said, meaning to have it resonate just under your breath.

“He didn’t.”

Oh. Not Prince Thor.

You jumped back once you realized that fact, and the younger prince of Asgard shook his head and sighed sharply. “I suppose Midgardians aren’t as rudimentary in terms of intelligence as Father made them out to be,” he muttered.

“Um, dude-your highness,” you corrected yourself when Prince Loki turned to glare at you. “If I may...can I ask why you decided to dress up like your brother and try to get me to marry you? I mean, I get that I’m pretty desirable, but that’s not how courting rituals usually work in my world. But if that’s how they work here-”

“I would never, ever, attempt to court a Midgardian,” Loki hissed, grabbing the neckline of your dress.

“Okay, hurtful, but understandable,” you replied, backing away slightly. “But if you think that the Asgardian women you have here in the Selection are any better, then-”

“I am not looking for any type of courtship.”

“Oh, okay,” you said, relieved. “Then...why’d you do it?”

If possible, his glare grew even hotter. “What concern is that of yours?”

Rolling your eyes, you began to walk away. “Geez, Reindeer Games, I was just askin’-”

“I didn’t say you could leave.”

“And you didn’t say anything about not being able to leave either,” you exclaimed, but before you could get very far, he appeared in front of you again. 

He looked furious. “Admit it!”

“Admit...what?” you asked.

“Admit that you lied about not wanting to marry my brother and participate in his ignorant game!”

“I don’t want to marry him!” you scoffed. “Or play his ‘ignorant game!’” 

“Then why did you do that?”

“Do what?” you huffed, growing exasperated. 

 

“That-that dance with the-the-”

“Shakespeare,” you supplied.

“Yes!” he affirmed, throwing his hands down. “Why would you do that lest you vie for his attention?”

“I did it cause that brown-haired girl needed to be taught a lesson,” you answered sharply,forcing a smile on your face. “Not because I wanted to win, but because I wanted to win.”

“Oh…” he said, realization probably dawning. “I…”

Nodding, slightly, you whisper-yelled, “Yeah!”

A moment of silence passed before he looked up at you, his face stoic. The prince seemed to be deep in thought the previous second when he asked, “Is Shakespeare...a Midgardian writer?”

“Uh huh,” you replied slowly, wondering how this conversation went from about you to about Shakespeare.

“The work you read of his...what was it?” he inquired.

“It was Romeo and Juliet,” you explained. “It’s my favorite of his works!”

“Why so?” He paused before quickly adding, “Not that I’m..particularly interested.”

“It’s cause the dumbest characters die in the end,” you said happily.

His right eyebrow shot up, and you took this as an opportunity to scour the titles of the books. Which were in a language you had no idea existed.

“Oh, great,” you muttered angrily. “Is this like some old Asgardian language or something?”

“It’s English. And you’re reading them backwards.”

“...Oh.”


	6. ~Not About To Let You Win~

As you trailed your fingers over the gold-gilded bindings, you couldn’t help but be upset about the fact that none of your favorite books were there. Pausing in your search, you looked back at the prince, who was still standing there and watching you (which was kind of creepy).

“Does this place have...I don’t know...Sherlock Holmes?” you asked hopefully.

He raised an eyebrow. “Is...that a type of drink?”

Mentally slapping your head on your forehead, you muttered, “Well, that certainly answered my question.”

Raising your voice, you questioned, “What about Harry Potter?”

At his apparently confused blink, you sighed and asked again, “Percy Jackson? Mortal Instruments? Divergent?”

Loki squinted at you, as if trying to decipher what language you were speaking. Of course they wouldn’t have the books you wanted here. Also, it would have been weird seeing a book like Percy Jackson on their shelves. 

(Magnus Bane, though…)

Sighing again, you began walking towards the door. “Never mind, then.”

“Wait.”

A hand suddenly closed around your wrist, making you turn to face the prince. You raised an eyebrow and tilted your head. “Yes?”

“Are-are those...Midgardian books?”

“Exclusively from Midgard, unfortunately,” you replied, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. “Why? You want to read them?”

He huffed and let you go before turning away. “No.”

You waited a second before beginning to turn away again, but once again, your arm was yanked back. Surprise was evident on your face when Loki handed you a book. Looking up at him questioningly, he scoffed and muttered, “As long as you’re still looking for a book…”

Staring at the beautifully inviting book, you wondered how exactly a guy could go from threatening you to offering you decent-looking reading material. Oh well, you thought, internally shrugging. You’re probably never going to understand guys, anyway, considering your mom’s expectation kept you far away from much of a social life.

Taking it, you smiled at the raven-haired prince before exclaiming, “Thanks, your highness!” You skipped away, but rushed back to bow (kind of), then ran back out again, eager to begin reading.

~~~~~~

You will never understand how your body works.

Like, you’d spend all night studying for a test or practicing, yet during the day, you were as awake as you would be after a ten-hours night sleep. You were so weird.

Regardless, the book Loki leant you was a-ma-ZING with a capital A. It was about these two boys who start out as best friends, but over the course of their adolescence, one of them becomes jealous of the other, resulting in him impulsively crippling the other for life. And he never suspected his intent until the night before he died.

It was wonderful.

In the morning, you hugged the book to your chest, breathing in its wonderful scent. You sighed, content, but you knew in the back of your mind that something was going to disturb this moment…

“Lady Y/N? Are you awake?” came the familiar voice of Fandral behind the door.

“No!” you yelled, burying your face into the covers.

He laughed, and another voice exclaimed, “Lady Y/N, are you getting ready for the party?”

“Party?” you asked, your voice muffled. At the sound of a door opening, you lifted your head to meet the gazes of the Warriors Three and Lady Sif. “I have to go to more events?”

They nodded, and you groaned, smashing your head onto your book. “Ow,” you muttered. As you rubbed your head, you turned to them and pleaded, “Please tell me that there’s going to be, like, snacks and stuff. Otherwise, I ain’t going.”

Volstagg chuckled. “Of course, my Lady. Lord Odin wants his guests to feel comfortable as the royal family gets to know the ladies of the Selection!”

Hogun made a sound at the back of his throat. “Indeed. And I predict that they will be quite eager to make your acquaintance, Lady Y/N.”

Rolling your eyes, you fell out of the bed ungracefully and began making your way to your closet. The instant you opened it, two maids entered your room with a tray full of food. Fandral chuckled as he wrapped his arms around his male companions. “Looks like we’ll be leaving you now, Lady Y/N. Unless you wish for us to stay?”

“No,” you said immediately, sending a glare in their direction. “I can’t have you watching when I try to break my legs so I don’t have to go to a party.”

As they left laughing, you sighed for what seemed like the millionth time. It’s only been the second day of the Selection, and having no Wifi or a plug was getting on your nerves. Sure, there were plenty of books, but you really wanted to check if that author who wrote your favorite Doctor Who fanfic had updated her story yet.

You were in agony. 

Your breath caught in your throat as the maids zipped up your rather tight-fitting dress. They send an apologizing look in your direction, but you grinned in response. Inside, though, you wanted the dress to just cut off your ability to breathe so you wouldn’t have to go.

~~~~~~

Loki tapped his fingers, bored, as he leaned on his hand. Currently, he was being forced to watch Thor socialize with his lady suitors, who were batting their eyelashes at him sickeningly. As he wanted to throw up, he decided he would look for you in the party held exclusively to let his brother get to know the women.

You weren’t there.

To be honest with himself, he was rather excited to see what you were up to today. Obviously, you weren’t anywhere near as intelligent as he was, or as powerful, or as cunning..Or anything.

But nonetheless...he didn’t think that you really deserved his tricks either, not when you were so against marrying his brother. In fact, you might be the most intelligent person here. Not that you were given that much of a margin to begin with. 

You were, naturally, foolish and naive, as would be the qualities of a Midgardian. What you did have, though, was the ability to outshine others and fool people into thinking you had absolutely nothing on them. But you did, as shown in your performance.

Which meant that you were the perfect candidate for becoming his temporary ally. Giving you that book last night was the first step in earning your trust, after all. Onwards, you would be his little puppet on a string, doing things that would normally have earned Loki the blame.

It would be marvelous.

A boisterous chuckle came from the doorway, followed by a whiney voice. “I swear, I didn’t try to fall out the window on purpose, Sif!”

“Of course, Lady Y/N, if you say so.”

“I swear to-hey, what exactly am I supposed to swear by here?”

“Sif’s brassieres,” snickered Volstagg.

“I swear by Sif’s brassieres!” you exclaimed loudly. 

As Fandral and Volstagg died of laughter and Hogun and Sif simply looked at them, your eyes widened, and you hardly noticed when the raven-haired prince began making his way in your direction. “Wait...isn’t a brassiere a-”

“Greetings, Lady Y/N.”

“I swear to...whatever I should swear with...you really need to stop sneaking on me like that, dude!” you said, after coming down from your jump. 

Loki raised a brow, and with a shake of his head, stated, “I see you still have not learned manners. Unfortunate.”

“Excuse me? Out of the two of us, who here was A) abducted from her home and B) forced to wear heels?”

“What does that have to do with manners?”

“Everything!”

The prince waved a hand before pulling you away from the still laughing group. “I...have a proposition of sorts to offer to you.”

“Does this offer have anything to do with letting me know where the exit to Midgard is?”

“No. Listen,” he leaned against a pillar and looked at you pointedly. “-you never wished to be here, correct?”

“No,” you answered sarcastically, which he apparently took no note of.

“And I can also infer that you are not exactly fond of those who wished to be here to compete for my brother’s hand in marriage?”

“Not that obvious, huh?”

“It’s as if you think I can’t kill you,” Loki muttered, then raised his voice again. “Well, I feel the same way, and I don’t suppose you would like to be my partner in making this Selection more difficult for them?”

“They’re id- Wait..Did you say...make it more difficult for them? Like, hide their underwear and stuff?”

He shrugged, and you began to smile in anticipation, but then it was quickly replaced by a look of suspicion. “Wait a minute...why me?”

“The AllFather does not know you well enough to blame you for such tricks, for one,” Lok replied, examining the intricate design on the pillar. “I make the ideas, you simply carry them out. Understand?”

“Alright then-hey, why do you get to make the ideas?”

He scoffed before turning to you. “Because your ideas involve hiding their undergarments.”

“Hmm…” you tilted your head in and out, contemplating the idea. Even if you did get in trouble, it’s not like they would execute you or something...right? Right?

“Ah, whatever. Okay!” 

Loki smirked slowly. “Then let’s get to work.”


	7. ~So Get Out Of The Way~

Releasing that group of mice was the best choice you’ve ever made.

The funniest reaction, though, would have to be Odin’s. “LOKI!”

“Yes, father?” he answered calmly, and from your perspective behind the column, he was trying his best not to smirk.

“What immaturity is this?”

“Oh, but it was not me, father.”

“Then who?”

Loki opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted as Thor stumbled into him as he carried a screaming maiden who apparently had jumped into his arms. You stifled a laugh as Loki disappeared and reappeared next to his mother as Thor crashed onto the table holding the little treats and drinks.

You felt that you were about to explode when a hand suddenly grasped your wrist and the scene changed before you into one of a balcony. Finally, you fell down laughing, wiping a tear at the corner of your eye occasionally. “Oh my Chuck, I swear. Did you see their faces?”

Loki chuckled above you. “I did.”

“It was friggin hilarious!”

“There will be funnier ones, I assure you.”

“Seriously?” you stood up to look at him excitedly. “More?”

When he nodded, you sighed and slid to the floor, taking in how your luck changed so quickly. Before, not happy. Now, very happy!

It was then that you remembered what happened this morning, before you went to the party. “Oh, hey!” you said eagerly, looking back up at the raven-haired prince again. “I really liked that book you gave me last night!”

He blinked, and his face looked startled. “You...read it?”

“Duh, what else did I have to do?”

Honestly, he only gave you that book in regards to the fact that he wanted the library to himself and didn’t want you to come back. Perhaps, in the back of his mind, he wanted you to read it, but really didn’t expect you to. Since you did… “What did you think of it? Not that it really matters,” he added quickly.

“It was awesome!”

Loki raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Awesome?”

“Yeah,” you nodded enthusiastically. “Like, it seems like Garrett is evil and all for pushing Ford out of the tree, but I feel like I really understand his pain.”

“What pain?” Loki asked, crouching down next to you. “His malicious intents were clear, were they not?”

Shrugging, you replied, “I don’t know. I mean, I know from experience that nobody can get that take that kind of anger personally unless they really knew, or loved, that person..”

“Did he not kill Ford?”

“Ford was too innocent,” you insisted. “He didn’t understand how love worked, and if he did, well...he probably wouldn’t have died..”

“So, what are you saying? That love is reckless and not to be tampered with?”

“That’s what I’ve learned,” you explained, your head deep in thought. “You give somebody some, and they’ll always find some way to use it against you, whether it’s through painful jealousy or just flat out betrayal.”

You could tell Loki was about to say something else when Thor came out, grinning at the sight of you. “Lady Y/N!” his voice boomed in the air.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Loki stiffen and stand up. “What do you want, Thor?” he asked, his quiet voice teeming with venom. 

Thor continued to smile like a blonde gummy bear. “I just wanted to tell Lady Y/N that mother wishes for her presence immediately. Or whenever convenient.”

“Right now’s fine,” you said, getting up. Dusting yourself off, you looked up at the blonde prince, who was currently flicking his eyes back and forth between his brother’s glare and you. “Got any idea what she wants to talk to me about?”

“Not one that would make sense, my Lady.”  
~~~~~~

Loki waited for you to leave before addressing his brother. “Did you enjoy the party, brother?”

“Loki, I know it was your doing.”

He gasped silently, and held a hand to his chest in mock hurt. “Do you doubt me so much, Thor?”

Thor gave him a pointed look as he shook his head. “I only know you well enough. It has also come to my attention that you are not as fond with father’s decision to find me a wife as everyone else is.”

“Everyone else is an idiot,” Loki muttered, about to turn away, but was stopped by his brother’s commanding arm.

“Which is why I have decided to not tell father on your plans with the Midgardian, brother,” he explained, tightening his grip on his brother’s shoulder. “Do not make me regret my decision to humor your ideas of entertainment.”

Loki rolled his eyes as he shoved Thor’s arms off his. “Even if I did know what you were talking about, brother, why do you not simply save yourself the trouble and tell father of my intention? Surely, that is not under you since you already believe yourself high enough to take twelve maidens for yourself?”

Thor sighed and clapped Loki’s back once more. “Believe it or not, Loki, I believe she may not be as easily succumbed to your charms as you would expect. Father allowed me to read her biography, and she is quite-”

“Brother, I have no time for your charades,” Loki said, annoyed, as he pushed toward the palace interiors. 

“Loki!” Thor called out, but it was too late. He had already gone inside.

The older prince sighed internally as he leant on the balcony railing. He knew he should have chose to tell father, but Loki’s tricks were becoming quite tiring, in his opinion. Thor also suspected that he was trying to use you to carry it out, but thanks to his pride, he refused to listen to what Thor had to say. To Loki, you were a skilled, hot-headed, but simple-minded and weak-willed Midgardian, but the biography you had said something different.

~~~~~~

“Did you want to see me, your Highness, Frigga?” you said softly, as you turned the corner. In all honesty, you were kind of scared to see what she was going to say; she might have been the only person you could actually trust around here. Angering her might not be the best decision.

“Yes, Lady Y/N,” she smiled with no hint of malice, so that was good. You breathed a sigh of relief, bowing down when you got to her. “Please stand.”

Smiling back hesitantly, you clasped your hands behind your back and tilted your weight on each foot back and forth. “Um...what was it you wanted to see me about?”

She raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. “I wanted to know whether or not you wished to...hold something of mine. For safe-keeping.”

“Oh. Wait, why?” you asked, wincing internally at how disrespectful you must have sounded. 

However, Frigga apparently took no notice of that as she shrugged. “You just seem like the type of maiden I would trust.”

Huh. Unless Frigga was dumber than you thought...it was like she was baiting you for something. “What...is this thing?”

She held out her hand, which at first, presented nothing, but suddenly, a golden object shimmered into existence. Your jaw dropped as you unconsciously went closer in order to examine it. It looked like a compass, only a bit bigger (it was the size of your entire hand) and sparkled with the message, “Touch me! Please!”

“This-” Frigga explained gently as she closed your hands around it, “-is a Grace Portal Key.”

“Wow,” you murmured absently, flicking the top open. You paid no attention as Frigga continued to speak, which you would regret later, but it just so FREAKING SHINY!!

“-Lady Y/N?” 

“Huh?” you said, as if coming out of a trance, looking up at the amused face of the Asgardian queen.

“Did you hear me?”

“Oh...I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t really paying attention,” you said, your voice lowering as your own cheeks reddened.

She laughed and waved a hand.”It’s quite alright. And you may go.”

“But...Thank you, your Highness,” you said awkwardly, before darting out the door.

Once you were back in your room, you shut the door quickly. Sighing, you walked to the door separating the room and the balcony and opened it, breathing in the fresh air. As you did, you realized that it kind of gave off the scent of...chocolate?

Quirking an eyebrow, your nose followed the scent, which came from the balcony directly on top of yours. Ha, you thought, smiling, if I hadn’t eaten chocolate last night, I probably would try to climb up there and get it. Funny.

Except…

You didn’t have chocolate last night. And you were surprisingly hungry. Yeah, you probably should have eaten something at the party.

Whining quietly, you paced the balcony, debating whether or not you should go outside and get something to munch on before dinner, or wait it out. If you went, then the other girls might still be out there, and then you would have to endure them saying stuff on the lines of, “Oh my, don’t you think that’s a bit too much?” Or “You’re going to eat all that?!”

Stupid perfect people.

There was another choice, too…

No way, you thought first, but then your stomach replied with a vicious growl. And we all know that when you’re hungry, your mind just shuts the frick down. Finally, you relented, and, slipping the Grace Portal thing into your dress, you allowed your feet to begin scaling their way up the steep castle wall.

Fortunately, you’ve taken rock-climbing lessons since the sixth grade, so climbing wasn’t really the problem. The problem was the fact that you were so distracted by the fact that the scent was getting strong, you never thought of the possibility that there might be somebody actually inside.

Wow.   
You’re really dumb. 

*Sigh*

Well, you couldn’t exactly stop at that moment, considering that you were already suspended hundreds of feet up in the air (The palace was HUGE), so you continued in hopes that the chocolate was on the balcony and not inside.

No such luck. The doors were open, but upon lifting yourself up, you noticed a big bowl full of little chocolate balls laid on a table in a nearby corner of the room. Crawling slowly to the entrance, you looked left and right to make sure there wasn’t anybody secretly waiting to ambush you. Taking a deep breath, you crept towards the bowl.

And that’s when you heard the voices.

“-not too smart,” a female voice snickered upon entering the room. You froze in your position, hand hovering on the bowl, and abruptly rolled, James-Bond style, behind the jar next to the balcony entrance.

Not daring to breathe, you carefully looked out from behind the jar to see who was in the room. It was a brunette and blond girl, both of which you could infer were in the Selection. Crud. They weren’t looking in your direction, though, their backs were faced to you as they stared at something the brunette was holding.

Again, you portrayed your idiot-like qualities by thinking, “Hey, this means I can still get the chocolate!”

Stupid, stupid brain.

Holding the jar with two hands, you hunched over and began to tiptoe towards the delicious smell. The two girls began chatting, which you paid no attention to, as you drew closer, the chocolate seemed more and more enticing. Suddenly, (yeah, you guessed it) you tripped in the most awkward way possible. 

Your feet got caught on a table leg, causing you to fly forward and knock down the freaking curtains. With the said curtains in your face, you couldn’t see where you were going, so obviously, you crashed into something. Not one something, though, two somethings.

Trying to retrieve your stability, you grabbed at the curtain as it was being torn away by the two two yelling girls, which led to them getting hilariously tangled up in it. But wait, there’s more! You were still in the process of falling down like the London Bridge, so you reached for whatever was currently in front of your hand. Which was, apparently, the chandelier on the ceiling.

Huh.

Once you found out what it was, you were about to let it go when they screamed in your face. You promptly tried to punch them, but ended up hooking the curtain they were tangled in onto the chandelier.

To be frank, they ended up hanging from the ceiling with a curtain wrapped around them.

Staring at their screaming figures for a second, you then turned around and picked up the bowl of chocolates. As you munched on a piece, you began making your way down the wall to your room.

You never looked back.


	8. ~Think You Got Me Beat?~

Dinner was nice.

You know, other than the fact that most of the girls were insulting you in low voices about what you ate, but you know. Luckily for your sanity, something interesting happened! 

It all started when you walked in. The royals were already seated, and they seemed restless about something. Except for Loki. He leaned back on his seat and smirked as if he owned the place. Like always. And you came in and sat three seats away from him, next to Lady Sif, like since yesterday.

Then Odin cleared his throat, causing everyone to drop their voices to a murmur before it stopped completely. Clasping his hands behind his back, he bowed his head slightly before his voice boomed, “Asgardians, maidens of the Selection, it has come to my knowledge that a crime has taken place in the palace walls.”

Instantly, the people around you began to chatter, and Sif turned to you, a worried expression on her face. “I hope it was not another attempt on the royals, do you not hope so?”

Laughing, you shrugged, but you could feel a sweat trickle down your forehead. Of course it wasn’t about some attempted murder-it was most likely about you. About how you broke into another girl’s room, tied them up, and ate their chocolate.

It was a crime worthy of a death penalty.

Well...the part where you stole their chocolate. That was the part that mattered.

As you continued to quietly hyperventilate, Odin raised his hand for silence. “But...I assure you, the villain behind this dastardly plot has been found.”

Oh, Sif’s brassieres, they KNEW it was you.  
This was not good.

“There will be nothing to worry about, my subjects. Unless, of course, you knew who these culprits were before they were discovered, in which case, you will be punished along with them,” Odin continued. He looked around, his eyes darting from person to person. Not being able to bear it, you closed your eyes and slowly slid down your seat.

The king advanced in his announcement. “I assure you, the maiden from the Selection will be quite sorry she ever-”

“IT WAS ME!” you yelled, jumping up, much to everybody’s surprise. You began to sob uncontrollably, burying your face into your hands. “I-I was the one who broke into their room, and tied them up on the chandelier. ALL TO GET THE FRICKIN CHOCOLATE!”

Prolonging your sobs, you began to band your head on the table repeatedly. “I-I WAS STUPID, I ADMIT IT! I COULD HAVE GONE TO THE KITCHEN TO GET SOME, BUT NO, I WAS TOO LAZY TO WALK SO I DECIDED TO SCALE A PALACE WALL INSTEAD!”

You distinctly remember a hand being placed on your shoulder. “Maiden,” Frigga said gently, next to your ear.

“I-I’M SO SORRY!” you choked, covering your face once again.

“Maiden, there is no need to cry,” cooed Frigga.

Sniffling, you peeked out at her from the crevices in your fingers. “Wh-what do you mean?”

She smiled, but her eyes gave away the fact that inside, she was laughing her guts off. “Two maidens from the Selection were actually rebels out to hurt Thor. They have already been captured,” Frigga said, motioning to the shackled girls you tied up being escorted into the room by guards.

“Oh, now I get………...it…………...”

 

You heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~

For the rest of the dinner, you remained mostly stationary and as unnoticeable as possible, in regards to your little, ahem, scene earlier. Odin announced their immediate banishment, and blessed the dinner. Thus beginning your plan to to eat as fast as you could and leave as soon as you could, without being disrespectful or impolite.

When people began getting up to dance, you quickly crept your way to the hall leading to your room. Your face lit up in anticipation of your wonderful, forgiving bed, when an arm blocked your way.

Inwardly sighing, you looked to your right to meet the gaze of a smirking mischief god. “May we dance?”

“Um,” you shifted awkwardly. “I..don’t know-”

“It’s alright, I will lead,” he said, and without any further discussion, he began leading you into waltz. He dipped you gracefully, and you thanked him by stepping on his foot with your heels. “Ouch,” he commented, looking down in distaste.

“Sorry,” you muttered, trying to get your feet right. You tried to remember what your mom taught you herself about ballroom dancing, but that was nearly impossible. Paying attention never really came to you-that is, unless it was something your mom wasn’t around to constantly badger you about.

“I take it you aren’t as skilled in this type of dancing as you are in the other kind?” he asked, interrupting your thoughts.

“Uh, no,” you answered absentmindedly, wincing when your foot hit a column.

“Well, one cannot dwell on the strange nature of that when I have another plan.”

“Another plan?” you replied, quickly veering away to avoid a particularly rigorously-dancing couple.

Loki nodded, and with a mischievous grin and a snap of his fingers, the world suddenly swirled around you. Instinctively, you closed your eyes, but when you opened your eyes, you realized you were, indeed, not in the Great Hall any longer.

You were in the library.

The prince stepped away from you and began to run a pale finger across the book spines. Softly, you could hear him muttering, “No, that’s not it. No, no, no…”

“Ah ha!” he said triumphantly, pulling out a black book with a blue binding. Turning to you, he blew the dust off, which your nose objected to. You started to hack and cough needlessly dramatically, but he apparently took no notice of it. Finally, you stopped and peered down at the book he had chosen.

“Physically-Enhanced Spells?” you read out loud. Loki flipped through the pages, and as he found the one he was looking for. He shoved the page in your face, leading to you getting a mouth-full of dust. 

As you spat it out, he questioned, “Can you read this?”

Squinting down at the page, you realized that, unlike the books you read in here, these words were in an old Norwegian language or something. You didn’t know. They looked like sticks.

“...No.”

“Good.” He turned the book around and began to chant. “Svake sinn tenker likt, gi denne intellektuelle gave psykologisk syn…”

Or something like that.

For all you knew, it could have been in Swahili. 

Oh wait, you speak Swahili. Never mind.

As he spoke, you stood there, watching your hands to see if they were going to glow or something. They always did in movies. After a few more moments, he finished and looked up at you with expectation. You slowly caught his gaze and raised an eyebrow. “Why...am I not glowing, or something like that?”

You didn’t see Loki’s mouth move, but you heard his words. “Apparently because Midgardians aren’t too bright.”

“Hey, that’s...pretty good,” you admitted, before you realized what just happened. Jumping a foot in the air, you pointed at him, your finger shaking slightly. “Ho-holy tacos, did I just read your mind?”

Loki’s mouth curled into a smile as he folded his hands to his chest. “So the spell does work,” he mused, mostly to himself.

“This-this is awesome!” you said, extremely excited. “I can finally find out if my next door neighbor likes me or not! Wait, that might not be the best idea, cause if he does likes me, then it’s gonna be all awkward cause I used to like his brother-”

“It only lasts for twenty-four hours,” interrupted Loki. 

“Aw, dang it,” you said, disappointed.

“Now, I want you to go back to the Grand Hall,” he continued, “-and find out for me the fear of as many people as you can remember. I suppose you are competent enough to do that much, yes?”

“Remember? Can’t I just write it down?”

Shrugging, he grabbed your shoulder, and instantly, the scenery changed once again, this time, back to the Hall. Everyone was waltzing to the song the orchestra was playing, as if you never went anywhere. “Should I-” you started, but when you turned around, the god was gone.

“Okie doki, Loki,” you muttered, then began to make your way to the center of the crowd, where your Selection “friends” were gathered around Prince Thor. You tried tuning into their thoughts, but then, a wave of pain rushed over your head as you took in way too much. As in, way too much.

Should I have worn the flats?

Do I have chocolate on my face?

Is my hair messy?

Who’s touching me? Oh, wait, that’s my dress.

I wish I hadn’t eaten bread for breakfast. Now I can’t eat anything…

“For Sif’s brassieres sake, Y/N,” you groaned, falling to the ground. You were vaguely aware of the fact that you were getting stares as you continued to mutter. “What happened to Jean Grey should have clued you in on how telepathy feels like,” you said angrily, before the room went dark.

~~~~~~

“Honestly, mortal, can you do nothing right?”

What?

You were still sleeping, you were sure of that. But then why-

“Appearing in dreams in easy,” you heard the scoffing voice of Loki say. “But appearing in the dreams of idiots is not very high on my to-do list.”

“Asgardians have to-do lists?” you asked absently, wincing as you sat up.

He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow at you. “Yes. Now get up, you pathetic worm.”

Standing up, you pointed a finger at his face and practically yelled, “You-did-NOT-just-call-me-” The reason behind you neglecting to finish your sentence was that your mind decided to explode again, leading to your fall into his arms.

“Get off me,” he snarled, and pushed you back to the ground.

You closed your eyes and braced for impact...but none came. Opening one eye, you looked down at the white floor and realized…

“OH MA CHUCK I’M FLOATING!” you cried happily.

“How is this possible?” Loki muttered, his anger forgotten.

“HECK IF I KNOW! THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN BEING ABLE TO READ MINDS!”

“You’re two feet off the ground.”

“BUT I’M FLOATING, LOKI!”

“Idiot,” he said, rolling his eyes and turning away.

“COME BACK HERE, REINDEER GAMES!” you yelled, and held out a hand to stop him. But before you even touched him, he was pulled by some unknown force back to where he was.

He blinked rapidly and shook his head slowly in your direction. “When you took in all the thoughts at once...you must have triggered some other area in your brain, and-”

“AND NOW I CAN FLY!”

Loki tilted his head and stared at you. “Close. Instead of telepathy, you now possess telekinesis. At least, that’s what I speculate. You can lift objects with your mind at will.”

“AND NOW I CAN FLY!”

Sighing, he pulled you down to the ground. “Yes, now you can fly.”

“I FEEL LIKE SUPERMAN!”

“I...don’t understand that reference.”

“THEY GONNA REMEMBER ME!”

“What are you doing?” 

“I THINK I KNOW I CAN-”

“Please put me down, Y/N. I do not wish to die from your enthusiastic nature.”

“-WHO SAYS IT’S HARD TO REACH?”

“I SAID PUT ME DOWN, MORTAL.”

“WHO’S GONNA STOP ME ON THE ROAD TO SUCCESS?”

“I WILL IF YOU DO NOT RELEASE ME THIS MOMENT. NO, NOT AT THIS VERY MOMENT! Y/N!”


	9. ~Nope! I'm Here To Stay~

“LOOK, DEAN! I’M CARRYING MY WAYWARD SON!”

“Y/N! For the second time today, PUT ME DOWN!”

You were currently in the hospital with a frantic Loki above your head. Normally, there wouldn’t be an issue, but the thing is, when you eat medicine, you tend to get a little...drunk would be the only word, really.

Now that you had telekinesis, however, it became worse for the people around you. Mostly Loki.

“PUT ME DOWN!” he snarled, holding onto a bedpost to keep from floating away.

Oblivious to his situation, you continued to rant happily. “PERCABETH! AUGAZEL! CLACE! DRAMIONE! JUST KIDDING! DESTIEL! JOHNLOCK! ARTLIN!”

Loki gulped nervously as his grip tightened on the pole. “Please stop,” he said weakly.

“NEVER! MY SHIPS WILL LIVE ON! O-T-PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP...”

“Lady Y/N? Are you awa-”

“HELLO THOR!”

Loki panted as he caught sight of the older prince.“Brother! Escape while you c-...actually, could you come here?” 

“Um, of course,” Thor said hesitantly, coming closer, much to your excitement.

“WANNA HEAR A FANFICTION I WROTE?”

Thor blinked in confusion. “A-what?”

“IT’S SABRIEL FLUFF.”

“Well, I do not know what that is, but if you wish…”

“I rescind my invitation to come closer, Thor, because, quite simply, I DO NOT WISH TO TREAD ON GROUNDS SUCH AS THESE,” Loki yelled, pulling himself to the ground with difficulty.

“YOU KNOW WHAT? THORKI ALL THE WAY!” you bellowed, giggling to yourself at their expressions.

A nurse came into the room quickly, probably upon hearing your new ship name. She took one sight of your grinning face, and suddenly, the room went black.

~~~~~~

Your sleep was deep. And comfortable. And nightmare-less.

Which usually meant that you were going to be in a lot of pain when you woke up.

“Lady Y/N?”

Were you conscious yet? No.

“Lady Y/N?”

Now? Yes.

At least, right when the bucket of water splashed into your face.

Instantly, your body shot up, which was a huge mistake. You regretted it immediately as soon as the mind-numbing pains ran through your body. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…” you groaned loudly, falling upon the bed again.

The nurse only watched as you fell to the ground dramatically, hugging a pillow to your chest and writhing around in “pain.” “Nurse! I have contractions!” you yelled.

Her expression remained neutral, if not slightly disturbed, as she gently took the pillow from you and placed it back onto the bed. “Lady Y/N, I am aware you are from Midgard, but I’m fairly certain that even in that realm, contractions are an effect of childbirth.”

“Oh,” you said sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. “Sorry.”

She nodded and felt your forehead gingerly. After waiting a few seconds, she apparently determined that your temperature was fine and gave you a chalice filled with water to drink, which you gladly took.

As the refreshing water smoothly made its way down your throat, the nurse began arranging the beds near you. “The princes and your fellow ladies have gone riding in the woods. Due to your condition, Prince Thor decided that you would be better off spending the day resting.”

Scoffing, you put the glass chalice down before hopping out of bed. “What are you talking about? I’m fine!”

Without looking back at you, she continued to talk. “Nevertheless, he felt that you may need time to recover.” the nurse stated.

“Pfft, like I said, I feel fine,” you muttered, fluffing up your pillow before placing it on the headrest. Suddenly, your head sprung up with a sudden thought. If you stayed at the palace...then you probably wouldn’t be able to see the rest of the girls until dinner…

“I...can explore the palace, though, right?”

She hesitated before shrugging slightly. “I suppose. Nobody told you otherwise, correct?”

“Wouldn’t have remembered anyways!” you yelped happily, skipping out of the room. Your feet took you through the golden hallways, unfazed by the fear of getting lost. Every five feet, there was a different room, each one as grand as the last. It still astounded you, up to now, that you were really chosen to be part of something that involved having a chance to explore humans didn’t even know exist!

Imagine, just a few days ago, you wanted to go home.

Where your books were.

And Netflix was.

And where all your expensive, clandestine fan merchandise lived.

Sigh.

A bright light cracked at the corner of your eye, causing your attention to shoot towards the door from whence it came. After slowly creeping towards it, your hand pushed it out, and the bright light grew a thousand times stronger. Blinking rapidly, you shut your eyes, then eventually opened it to lessen the glare.

“Oh...my...Chuck…” you murmured, drinking in the sight of the gigantic garden, choking with the lovely scent of flowers you’ve never seen on Earth, which were blooming like the first day of spring. Colorful butterflies flittered about, along with what looked like pink ladybugs and beautiful sounding birds. In short, it was, to you, only second to a library.

“What is this place, filled with so many wonders?” You began to sing softly, which grew into a crescendo, then blew up into a full scale, cliche moment, musical. Twirling, you continued, smiling, “Casting this spell, that I am now under?”

As you began to chasse, you bent down as far as you could before springing into the air, leaping to your heart’s content. “Squirrels in the trees, and the cute, little bunnies. Birds flying free a-and bees with their ho-”

You were really starting to hate blacking out.

~~~~~~

“Again, Y/N? Really?”

“Go stab someone else in the eye, Peter,” you mumbled, still only half-conscious.

The person talking to you sighed, and a few moments of silence passed before a cold wave of water crashed down on your face. Instantly, you shot up, sputtering, and upon able to recover, turned to glare at the indifferent expression of the raven-haired prince in front of you. “What was that?”

“Water,” he answered promptly, dropping the bucket down beside the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Now that you mention it…” Wincing, you shut your eyes tight and began to massage your temples. “Really, really bad.”

“Really, really bad?” you heard Loki reply with amusement.

“Like, hit with a frying pan bad,” you grumbled. “What happened?”

He sharply let out a breath before standing to pace around the room, and it was only then that you realized that this room was not yours, nor was it part of the hospital wing. Adorned with green and gold, you could only assume that this room was Loki’s. “You were attacked.”

“Attacked?” you repeated, sitting up.

Loki nodded, examining a book sitting on his night table. He didn’t seem to be about to reveal anything else. Rolling your eyes, you pressed on, “By who?”

“Not a whom, darling, but a what,” he supplied, placing the book down gently before walking over to you. “Odin...isn’t certain what it is exactly. According to the guards that were present, it appeared out of nowhere and hit you in the middle of your...recital.”

Ignoring his smirk, you sighed and pulled your arm from the other side of your body, allowing it to stretch. “Where is the thing now?”

The prince leaned against the wall, balancing a small sphere between his fingers. “It generates a magic the AllFather does not understand, even if he won’t admit it. That is the true reason why he closed off the garden,” he scoffed.

“Oh…” Pausing, you shifted your body so you were leaning on your side. “So...how was the ride?”

“Terrible,” Loki responded, not missing a beat.

“Was...the weather good?”

“It was hot.”

“Were...the horses...nice?”

He sent a glare your way, giving you the message that your question wasn’t going to be answered. After an awkward moment of silence, you stood up quickly, rubbing your hands. “Okay, then! Guess I’ll be going to my room-”

“Before you do-”

Aw, come on.

“-I need you to help me with...something,” Loki said, coming up behind you.

“Let me guess, your brother did something during the ride that you thought was prideful or something? Made you look like a loser?”

Scowling, the prince tilted his head at you dangerously. “Actually, it was the Warriors’ Three. But I can assure you that this time, nothing will go wrong.”

“But-”

“No buts. You possess telekinesis now, so there is no reason to complain about our second stunt,” Loki snapped. “On the ride, I sensed a strong magic not of Asgard, a little ways off the path. Obviously, I was drawn to such energy, and attempted to locate the source.”

“This is important...how?” 

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Loki reached into his pocket and took out a long, slender stick, bearing carvings that made it look slightly familiar…

“I can channel the magic emanating from this object and use it instead of my own,” Loki explained, twirling it in his hands. “That way, nobody would be able to track us.”

“People already know we’re trying to mess with them anyways,” you muttered, mind still intent on trying to recall where you’ve seen this thing. It was just on the tip of your tongue…

“Well...it conserves my own energy,” he countered, shrugging. “Shall we go?”

Keeping your eyes on the object, you slowly nodded. “Yeah.”


	10. ~Coming In Strong~

The bushes slapped you in the face as Loki parted them and allowed them to swing back, without regard for where you stood. After getting hit for like the fiftieth time, you spat the leaves out with malice. Pointing a finger at the bushes the prince was about to part, you grinned eagerly as your telekinesis did its work...and was promptly avoided entirely.

Dang Loki’s skills.

“Where are we even going?” you asked, narrowingly avoiding a fallen tree.

“The village, of course,” he scoffed. “The ladies of the Selection, plus the Warriors Three, Sif, and my brother, intended to go there directly after the ride.”

“Couldn’t we have gone through the path and not through the woods?” you panted, leaning on a large tree trunk.

“No,” Loki answered, without looking back. “Then the dramatic entrance I planned would have gone to waste.”

“Can I see that thing again?” 

“Of course not. Finders keepers, as they say on Midgard.”

Rolling your eyes, you continued to trek behind him, but attempted to come closer to get a better look at the piece of wood sticking out of his pocket. Suddenly, it hit you like a ton of bricks; where you’ve seen the wand before. It...it couldn’t be. There was absolutely no way-

But what if it was?

Gulping, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “You know...it looks kinda like a wand, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps,” he replied, pushing the wand deeper in his pocket. 

Sighing loudly, you strode to his pace and questioned, “You say the garden was sealed off because of this magical object that hit me, right?”

He kept quiet for a second, probably trying to find your angle. “Yes…”

“If the garden is sealed off, then this thing probably isn’t supposed to be touched,” you slowly said. Pursing your lips, you continued, saying, “-because of the fact that the magic wasn’t Asgardian.”

“Quite right…” Loki replied.

“And yet, you want to use this wand, something else with non-Asgardian magic, against your brother?” you exclaimed incredulously.

Huffing, the prince answered, “Not just him. The Warriors Three and Sif as well.”

You persisted, “But if Odin thinks it’s dangerous-”

“Odin is a fool,” Loki replied immediately, turning to face you with a fierce glare in his green eyes. “I, however, am not. This wand contains powerful magic, I can sense it, and intend to find out exactly what kind of magic it possesses.”

His stare was burning holes in your head, but you stood your ground. “And then what? Use it against the only brother you have?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Perhaps it would teach him a lesson. His ego is in desperate need of deflating.”

“Loki-”

“What did you address me by, mortal?” Loki hissed, pushing you to the tree by your throat. It didn’t hurt yet, but you could tell he could push way harder if he wanted to.

Baring your teeth, you kneed him in the crotch, effectively putting him down. “I called you by your...name?” you whispered the last word before leaning down. As Loki clutched his hurt area, you spied a necklace on his neck. Normally, you wouldn’t care, but this particular necklace held some significance to you.

“Where did you get this?” you practically yelled, ripping the necklace from his neck. Instantly, as you expected, your head began to swim with voices that were not yours. You don’t remember falling to the ground, or Loki shaking your shoulders, or him accidentally slapping the necklace from your hands. 

As it went flying to the ground, the pain truly settled in your head. “Aw, not again!” you groaned, covering your head with your hands. Loki turned away while you complained, and crouched down in order to take a better look at the necklace.

He reached out to touch it, but thought better of it, and instead looked towards you. “Do...you know what that is?”

“I-I think so, but it’s impossible,” you replied, wincing.

Cocking his head slightly, Loki held out a hand and helped you up. “How so?”

Smiling hesitantly, you shook your head. “It’s nothing. Just instinct. It’s probably nothing.”

“It-it was with the wand. I assumed they were connected, but it’s most certainly not ‘nothing,’” the prince said gravely, turning his eyes back on the locket. “That necklace...it made me see things.”

“What kind of things?” you asked, hoping his answer was something like rainbows and unicorns. Unfortunately, luck had never been on your side. 

Blinking slowly, he answered, “Things I could do with the wand. To my brother.”

“Then...we won’t touch it!” you said brightly, running up to the necklace and kicking it clear into the woods.

“But-” Loki began to speak, but then you rushed to him and grabbed the wand sticking out of his pocket slightly.

“And this!” With that, you mustered every ounce of arm strength you got from playing softball and threw the wand as far as you could. It flew through the air out of sight, and you sighed with relief.

Loki stayed quiet behind you, but you didn’t take notice of him as you quickly walked toward the village. You didn’t really care if he came or not.

~~~~~~

You knew something. Loki knew that much.

What you knew would probably remain a mystery to him unless he performed a telepathy spell on himself. Which he couldn’t, considering his mother banned him from using spells on himself.

He followed your speedy stride through the woods, in the clearing, and to the village. When he told you what he saw, he wasn’t telling the entire truth, because duh, he’s Loki. Upon finding the strangely engraved wand in his path, he picked it up, not knowing what it was, only intending to throw it at Thor and pretend it was the wind’s fault.

Yes, he truly did consider that.

That changed when he spotted a glowing locket a few feet away from the spot the wand laid. It seemed to initially be made of gold and was decorated with green swirls. At that moment, though, the entire object seemed to resonate a sort of dark energy.

He had plenty of gold in his name, and endless streams of jewelry from his command or from the wishes of infatuated maidens. There was nothing about this necklace that could possible appeal to him...except...it did.

Loki began to put it on, but then his brother called out to him. Sighing, he shoved it in his saddlebag and pulled on the reins. It wasn’t until he was inside the palace and tending to you did he put it on. Nothing seemed to happen at first, no visions or overly obvious signs of corruption.

All there was were ideas that had already been there, ideas that his brother, the would-be kind, was denser than a pile of rocks, and that he deserved the throne instead. Only ideas, of course. 

Then they began to grow stronger, especially after Thor went into the hospital room where you were and attempted to take care of you. Obviously, you didn’t care at all about marrying him, so Thor’s idiocy was once again bothering him to the fullest extent. He ended up forcing Thor to get you some cool towels and carried you up to his room.

Always, Thor got the best of everything, even as a child. For him to take his only source of entertainment during his own courting seemed to anger Loki’s conscious greatly. When you woke up, however, the thoughts seemed to disappear, or at the very least, lessen slightly, especially after he got to throw a bucket of water on your face.

Then, upon explaining his plan with his findings of the wand, the feelings soon returned. And grew even stronger...until you pulled it off.

It was very annoying having to decipher what you knew when you were the most impossible and insane person he had ever met. Letting out a huff, Loki shoved his hands in his pockets and made a mental note to try to earn your trust again so he could interrogate you later.

~~~~~~

“This is just like New York,” you grumbled, trying to see above everyone’s heads. Curse your impossibly short yet adorable height.

“A city on Midgard?” Loki asked, and instantly, the crowd dissipated and formed a path for you to cross. 

“Uh, yeah!” you exclaimed, happily skipping through. From a distance, you could spy Thor’s golden locks, which seemed to glow, along with his blinding smile. You hoped Loki wouldn’t question your erratic behavior, considering that just a moment ago, you were yelling about a necklace.

Loki didn’t seem as eager as you to meet up with his brother, but at least he wasn’t talking about the wand or the locket. “Why are you so excited? I thought you despised the other maidens.”

Shrugging, you slowed your skip as your presence became known to the Sif. She waved you over, shouting, “Lady Y/N! I trust you feel well?”

Cupping your mouth, you yelled back, “I HAD A DREAM THAT I WAS EATING PANCAKES, BUT THEN A BIG WAFFLE PUT ME ON A PLATE OF BUTTER AND STARTED TO EAT ME BECAUSE I BETRAYED HIM.”

Fandral opened his mouth, about to say something, but closed it wisely. Volstagg, on the other hand, “Well, it does make sense.”

Thor laughed joyfully, and pulled you into a hug. “We are glad to see you feeling better, Lady Y/N.”

“Almost all of us,” you heard a female voice mutter before said girl slipped her arms underneath Thor’s with a sickly sweet smile on her face. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Jeez, it was that Mean Girls play all over again.

To your happiness, a ball came flying out of nowhere and hit her on the side of the face. Her expression was something you’ll never forget: panic that her hair was messed up, anger, and humiliation. She picked the ball up from the ground, and popped it with the sharp manicure of her nails.

Raising an eyebrow, you flitted your eyes at the children who had come running up, probably to claim the ball. They stared at the deflated toy, looked up at the glare given to them, and began walking away.

“Seriously?” you exclaimed at her. You looked around, and upon finding a sharp piece of glass, pulled at her hair and cut off a generous portion. “There! Now I feel better!”

Not waiting to see her face, you ran off in the direction of the kids. “Hey, hey!”

They looked back with a fearful expression on their faces, which you attempted to greet with a smile. “Look!” you said cheerfully, holding up the lock of hair you cut off. “I got her hair!”

You could just hear Loki rolling his eyes.

Awkwardly, you put it in the pocket of your dress. “You...guys have another ball, right?” you asked hopefully.

They nodded, and you clapped your hands. “Great! What were you guys playing?”

A small girl with blond pigtails came up to you, holding a net full of medium sized blue balls. “Oh, you got a bunch of balls!” you said, pleased. “Can I play?”

They shifted nervously, causing you to involuntarily swallow. It’s been a long time since you’ve been around kids, but you knew for a fact that you never liked seeing them cry. So instead, you took this as an opportunity to...do what you do.

“Have you guys played dodgeball before?” you asked, trying to keep up conversation. All of them shook their heads no, and your jaw dropped. “What?” you practically shouted. They blinked in confusion, and you sighed in disappointment. “Well, then, I guess it’s time to learn…”

~~~~~~

“Hey, that’s cheating!” 

“But you never said that we can’t use our surroundings!” giggled the little boy with the jet black hair. You grinned, and picked up four balls. He immediately ceased in his giggling and was watching you with a look of horror.

A second later…

“YOU’RE OUT!” chanted all of the children in unison.

Thor shook his head, laughing slightly, as you clapped the hands of the people on your team. At the moment, the teams were split into girls versus boys, and to everyone’s surprise, the girls were winning. Mostly thanks to you.

“She’s very good with children,” he commented, not noticing the look on Lady Sif’s face.

“I suppose,” she muttered, shifting her weight. Sif chided herself for feeling such a way towards you, considering that you were the only maiden to act kindly towards her when she went to greet you. She even knew that you had no interest whatsoever in courting Thor. And neither should she.

“MADNESS? HA! THIS...IS...ASGARD!!” you yelled with triumph, throwing seven balls at one time.

Sif couldn’t contain a faint smile at your eager nature. She could only imagine how Loki must feel whenever he was with you; in fact, she wondered why he bothered with you at all. At any rate, she could only hope that you wouldn’t fall for his silver tongue and allow him to break your heart. Sif hadn’t known you for very long, but she didn’t think you deserved it. After all, you meant no harm...

All fears of Loki using his silver tongue against you disappeared, however, when a particularly hard ball you threw missed its target, and instead collided with the younger prince’s face.  
“I will have you beheaded for that, wench!” he bellowed, stomping on the ball and heading over to you.

“My children! TO ARMS!” you shouted, hefting two balls in your arms. A shower of blue balls began pelting the raven-haired prince left and right, giving you time to escape to the path you took.

“Y/N! GET BACK HERE!!” you heard Loki holler as you ran through the woods. Laughing, you slowed your pace to a walk before looking up to observe your surroundings. The sun peeked through the trees, shedding enough light on the dim forest to allow the beauty to overcome the overall creepiness of it. 

Sighing, you leaned against a thick tree and sat down, taking in the sweet woodsy scent and warmth of the afternoon. Placing your hands on the ground, you felt them roll on something. Blinking, you closed your fingers down on the object and lifted it to your face. It was...a pen. 

Wait...a pen? In Asgard?

Strange, but here’s the real question: does it work?

You were about to uncap it, but then you heard a familiar voice in the distance call your name. Tucking it in your dress, you rushed off in the direction of the palace. No use getting caught in the path of your actions.

~~~~~~

“Lady Y/N?”

“I’m not here!” you hollered from inside the closet. While rummaging through your clothes, embarrassingly, you managed to lock yourself in. What’s more is that you kept your underwear in a separate drawer, so basically, you were naked.

You heard your door open, then a sigh. “Come out,” came the insistent voice of the younger prince.

“I-I’d rather not,” you said hesitantly. “I have...a situation.”

“Why are you in the closet?” Loki questioned. And to your horror, his footsteps seemed to be approaching where you were.

“NO! DON’T OPEN THE CLOSET, YOU PANSYCAKE!”

“Alright…” You let out a sigh of relief as you heard him step away. “Why?”

“I’m naked, that’s why,” you snarked. “D’you mind bringing me my underwear?”

“I’m not your servant,” he muttered, loud enough for you to hear.

“I SAID BRING ME MY UNDERWEAR.”

You could practically hear him roll his eyes, but get it anyways. He definitely didn’t need you pulling a stunt like you did with the village kids. A moment later, the closet door opened just a crack, and you grabbed your undergarments from his waiting hands. “Thank you!” you chirped.

As you pulled your clothes on, Loki cleared his throat outside. “Do you remember when you were brought here by force?”

“Yes,” you answered, voice muffled by the fabric over your mouth.

“Then I suppose you were not able to bring anything of yours with value to Asgard?”

“No-wait. I could have?” you asked, furious, as you stepped out of the closet.

Raising an eyebrow, he nodded, and, falling upon the floor, you groaned loudly. “Aww, come on! Life hates me!”

“Technically, life is a force of nature you cannot hope to control-”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR SASS, REINDEER GAMES.”

Loki rolled his eyes again, then gently took you by the arm. “Well, that’s what I’m here for.”

“To give me sass?” you asked, confused.

Considering that he rolled his eyes way too many times already, Loki let out a large sigh in annoyance instead. “To take you down to Midgard and allow you to bring whatever you can carry.”

“Oh. Really?” you exclaimed, your mood suddenly changing. Then it dampened again. “Wait...why are you offering?” you asked, suspicious.

He tilted his head and put his right hand on his chest. “Out of the sheer goodness of my heart.”

“Let me repeat myself: why are YOU offering?”

Shrugging, he shook his head. “Is chivalry dead? Can I not merely wish to escort a beautiful maiden to her home in order to help her keep with her what she values?”

You blinked. “Okay, compliments. Now I’m scared.”

As he scoffed at your statement, you pointed a finger at him, “Is this some kind of trick to get me to work with another one of your plans? Cause I’m making it official right now, that I quit-”

“No, it is n-Hmm,” Loki pondered on his thoughts for a second before continuing. “No it is not, I can assure you. And do not point, it’s very rude.”

Breathing out a sigh, you closed your eyes. “You’re going to take me to my home, let me get stuff, then come right back, right?”

“Yes.”

“No detours?”

“Yes.”

“Is this some kind of plan to get me to trust you or something?”

“...Yes.”

“Well...good enough for me! Let’s go!”


	11. ~About To Take You Down~

The rainbow bridge was everything you had imagined. It was a rainbow, and it was a bridge.

Pretty simple.

Heimdall, the gatekeeper, greeted you and Loki with a nod. He seemed to know what you were here for, and proceeded to open the portal. Loki turned to you with a wicked smirk on his face and held out his arm. “Better hold on.”

“Pfft,” you waved a hand and turned away to hide your nervousness. “I’ll do fine.”

Shrugging, the prince pulled his arm back, and in the next second, you felt as if you were being sucked into a vacuum, through the colorful vortex, at five hundred miles an hour. Instantly, you wished that you took up Loki’s offer, because the danger of falling ran rampant in your mind.

Finally, the portal spat you out, and you landed ungracefully. Panting and resting your hands on your knees, you stayed that way for a few seconds before you realized where you were.

The campus was bustling with students, as usual, but to your surprise, none of them stopped to take pictures of the student who just fell from the sky with a dude who looked like he just came out from the Renaissance fair. For hot people. Not that you thought that. It was just a general statement.

Duh.

However, one person saw and recognized you instantly. “Oh my god, Y/N?”

Darcy Lewis.

At the sight of her, you cringed internally. Not because you didn’t like her, heck no. The two of you were like…

Ah, so many references you could make.

You would have been happy to see her, if it weren’t for the fact that you knew exactly what kind of questions she’d ask. Really specific, information revealing kinds, which was just the type of person she was.

Turning to face her slowly, you smiled brightly and waved your hand. “Hey, Darce, what’s, uh, what’s up?”

Raising an eyebrow, she looked up at the sky, then back at you. “The same thing that’s been up there for, like, forever?”

When you didn’t answer, she sighed and exaggeratedly pointed up. “The sky?”

“Stars are up there too, you know.”

“Why do we care about stars?”

“Well, the sun is a star, and I kinda remember being told in school we need it to live-”

“It does provide the heat humans need to maintain their ideal body temperature,” Loki added.

Darcy peered at him through squinted eyes. “Did...that guy just come from a Renaissance fair?”

Before Loki could open his mouth, you pushed him behind you and nodded. “Yup. We both did, and we need to go, right now, cause we’re missing out, on, stuff…”

Nodding slowly, Darcy’s eyebrow grew higher and higher until your palms began to sweat. “I think your eyebrow’s trying to escape, Darce.” Her stare remained motionless. 

Gulping involuntarily, you flicked your gaze at the green-eyed demigod, hoping he had enough sense to transport the two of you to your apartment. The little motherchucker looked like he was having fun watching you struggle with an explanation. Making a mental note to steal his helmet later, you turned back to Darcy with a sigh.

“Look, the truth is...I was abducted by Asgardians and was apparently chosen to be a part of their competition to see who gets to marry Thor and become future queen of Asgard. And there’s a rainbow bridge,” you said in a rush.

“...That’s it?”

“What do you mean, that’s it?” you exploded. “Rainbows can’t be bridges! It’s physically impossible!”

“I mean-” Darcy blew a hair from her face and shrugged. “Rainbows can be bridges if they were, like, solid.”

“But they’re not! They’re rainbows!”

“Well...if you were light enough, you could maybe walk on them!”

“Are you saying I’m fat?”

“Where did you even get that implication? You just said you were able to walk on rainbow bridges!”

“BRIDGE, DARCY. SINGULAR. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THERE’S MORE THAN ONE?”

“WELL, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT, NOW DID I?”

“It’s referred to as the Bifrost,” Loki chimed in.

“NOBODY- Wait, wait, wait.” Shaking your head, you pointed a finger at the woman currently up in your face. “You’re..not...freaking out, or anything?”

Darcy waved her hands around. “OF COURSE I’M FREAKING OUT. I ALWAYS THOUGHT RAINBOWS WERE REALLY MADE OF FAIRY TEARS!”

“You two are an embarrassment,” Loki muttered, turning his interest to somewhere else.

While he did that, you opened your mouth in shock and shouted back, “FAIRIES DON’T CRY, DARCY. THEY’RE ETHEREAL BEINGS.”

“ETHEREAL BEINGS CAN CRY! LOOK!”

 

“Oh my Chuck, Darcy.”

“I swear, I didn’t mean to set the taser level that high.”

“What made you think that this was a good idea?”

“I was trying to prove to you ethereal beings can cry!”

“HE PASSED OUT, DARCE. And I don’t think he’s really an ethereal being.”

“But he came from the place with the rainbow bridge!”

“Hmm...true…”

~~~~~~

“-and that’s the entire story of what happened while I was gone,” Loki heard you say proudly as he came into consciousness.

Your friend, Darcy, he believed her name was, snorted. “That sounds like a Doctor Who plot. Except you’re not space traveling. And you’re not as cool as the Doctor is. And you don’t have a TARDIS. Huh. Forget what I said.”

“Supernatural, plot, maybe? There are, like, pagans and stuff.”

“But you’re not dead.”

“What are two you talking about?” Loki asked, wincing as he sat up.

“Stuff,” you said in unison.

“Well, ‘stuff’ isn’t going to help you pack,” Loki snapped, his plan to get you to trust him again forgotten.

“Pack?” Darcy repeated, her eyes widening. She looked back at you with a confused look. “You’re...not staying?”

Before you could reply, Loki interjected, “Of course she can’t stay. She’s bound by an oath-”

“Which I don’t remember taking,” you muttered.

“-so she cannot leave until the Selection is over. Which I assume she told you about…”

Darcy sighed and looked down at her hands. You made some weird motion with your hands, trying to decide what to do with them. “Come on, Darce, I’ll be back before you know it!”

She looked up at you with a raised eyebrow. “So you don’t want to stay in the place with the rainbow bridge?”

Scoffing, you threw your hands in the air incredulously. “Why would I want to?”

Walking around the room, you began to absently turn things over as you spoke. “Here, I’m the co-captain of the friggin dance team! And I’m part of a nationally acclaimed Mock Trial team!”

Darcy chuckled as she stood up to walk next to you. She picked up your old Lord of the Rings book and flipped through it. “Yeah, you’re pretty much good at everything, but that doesn’t really matter to you, does it?”

“I...what?”

“Just think, you have the opportunity to stay in a mystical place with a rainbow bridge, Y/N!” Darcy whispered excitedly. “Don’t you want that?”

“...I-”

“She’d have to marry my oaf of a brother to be able to stay,” Loki interrupted. “Which is a chore in itself, if you consider it.”

You suddenly laughed, scaring both you and Darcy. “Darcy, come on! This is my life!” you said, beckoning to your large bulletin board, presenting all of the medals you earned just this year. 

She rolled her eyes and held up your book. “What about this life?”

Shrugging, you tugged the book from her hands and set it down gently. “It’s just a pastime, Darce,” you said, grinning. 

Sighing, Darcy threw her hands in the air and hugged the life out of you. “Stay safe, I guess,” she muttered.

“You too.”

After a few seconds of silence, Loki spoke out. “This is all very touching, but we do have a schedule to keep-”

“Yeah, yeah, Loki,” you said, turning to him. “I’ll get what I need.”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah Darce?” you asked, looking at you friend leaving the door.

She smirked and held up a packet of paper. “If you’re ever looking for me, I got this internship. I’m working with Jane Foster. She’s an astrophysicist.”

Huffing, you placed your hands on your hips and smiled back. “What, was she that desperate?”

“Nobody else applied!” she said happily, before giving you a salute and closing the door behind her.

You turned to walk to your room, pondering about what exactly you should bring. Your charger? Nah, you managed fine without it. Your watch? 

“Wouldn’t you like to take this?” he asked, turning to you. 

You turned to see what he was referring to, and scoffed. His gaze was settled on the numerous medals you had on your bulletin board.“Why?”

Loki shrugged indifferently. “It would make up for your lack of an ability to get things done-”

“I got it!” you suddenly yelled.

The prince’s jaw dropped as he saw what you were pointing to. “You...want to bring that...whole thing?”

“Yes!” you cheered, delighted. “It’s perfect!” 

“But...you can’t possibly carry it all the way-”

“You’ll carry it!”

“But-”

“WE’RE BRINGING IT, REINDEER GAMES.”

“...Okay, Y/N.”

~~~~~~

As you stepped out from out from the portal, less dizzy this time, you breathed in the now-familiar scent of Asgard. Faintly, you heard the heavy breathing of an Asgardian god behind you as he lugged a seven-foot bookshelf using his magic.

“My magic was not supposed to be used for feats of brute strength,” he grumbled. As he dropped it with a thud, he looked around with a creased brow. “...Heimdall?”

“Let’s go, Cow!” you called out, already marching out to the Bifrost.

“Wait...something’s...not right,” Loki murmured, his eyes now desperately darting around to look for the Gatekeeper. “Heimdall? Where are you?”

When you noticed Loki wasn’t following you, you rolled your eyes and stomped back. “What’s going-”

“Heimdall is not here,” he said, not looking at you.

“And?”

“Your ignorance is truly something to marvel at,” Loki muttered, before standing up. “The gatekeeper is gone.”

“Maybe...he went for coffee?” you said hopefully.

“Shut up!” he snarled, before shoving past you and jumping on a waiting horse.

“Wait!” you yelled, trying to get on your own horse, which was unhelpfully turning away every time you touched him. When you finally did it, you squinted and saw Loki already far in the distance.

By the time you caught up to him, the gates of Asgard were in plain sight. And they were open. 

“Surely Asgard cannot be completely plundered in the short time I have been gone…” you heard Loki growl.

“Maybe it’s like when time passes faster in other places? And the few hours we were on Earth, it was like five hundred years here?” you suggested.

Bad idea. Loki turned to you with a sudden fire in his emerald eyes. “You would do well to shut your mouth, mortal. I need only a bit of my magic to smite you and throw your remains off the Bifrost.”

“...’Kay.”

~~~~~~

There were no guards.

No villagers.

No servants.

No Selection girls. Yay.

No food. Dang it.

No king or queen.

No Thor.

“Where is everyone?” you whispered, pulling your arms closer together.

“Perhaps they went out for coffee,” Loki responded sarcastically.

“That’s a lot of coffee.”

“...I know.” He replied softly. The silence lasted for a few more seconds before he suddenly turned to you with the same fire in his eyes. “What did you do?”

You blinked, confused, until he grabbed your collar. “What-did-you-do?” Loki said, his words becoming louder with each word, until his voice echoed through the halls.

“I…” You tried your best to back off, but his grip remained stationary. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about!” he exploded, his green eyes turning...red? “You don’t think me an idiot, do you?”

When you didn’t reply, he shoved you against a column with a sickening thud. “I heard what that woman said to you, about the chance to live in ‘a place with a rainbow bridge.’ And how that book was your life. Nobody is stupid enough for that to literally mean what it says. And that book she carried-”

Loki retracted his hand away, but before you could breathe a sigh of relief, a ball of green energy began to glow in it. The light illuminated his shadowed face as he spoke with a deathly volume. “‘The Lord of the Rings,’” he mocked, laughing. “You think I wouldn’t understand what that was?”

Your legs began to shake involuntarily, but you refused to let that show on your grinning face. “What do you think it means, genius?”

The prince created another ball of energy with his other hand as he said in a low voice. “A book of sorcery. I should have seen it sooner. No mortal could possibly possess the skills you have.”

“Aw, well, that’s flattering-Wait. Are you calling me a witch?”

Loki ignored your incredulous tone and continued. “And how you avoided the subject of the wand I found? And the necklace? They were yours, weren’t they? A way to spread your dark magic, perhaps?”

Before you could answer with a “HELL NO”, he began to shake his head. “It’s too bad, really.”

Loki pulled the glowing balls above his head, casting an even darker shadow on his twisted expression. “Wait!” you yelped, any thoughts of a comment gone, but his face told you he wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon if you tried. 

Suddenly, a voice cried out above the crackling noise of the energy. Actually, more than one. Immediately, Loki allowed them to dissipate and began to search for where the sound came from. Scrambling to get up, you ran towards the closet you heard the noise come from and saw…

Oh...my...Chuck…..

It was every fangirl’s dream.

Every one of your favorite characters were tied up and looking at you.


	12. ~Not So Tough When You're In My Town~

After you promptly passed out, Loki looked at the struggling figures for a moment before walking over to rip the gag from their mouths. A young man with blonde hair winced. “Ouch.”

Another teen with platinum blond hair scoffed. “Too tight for your princess hair, Herondale?”

“My hair is fine, thank you very much,” the Herondale boy huffed.

“Princess hair,” a short, black haired boy snickered.

“Shut up, Muggle,” the platinum haired boy snarled.

“I prefer the term ‘half-witted,’” the boy insulted replied cheerfully. “I think it’s more polite.”

“You’re all half-witted,” grunted a man who seemed a bit older than the three of them. He looked towards the Asgardian prince. “You mind untying the rope?”

“You and me both,” commented a tall, black-haired teen. 

“Why do the young humans love to argue?” wondered another man, who looked like a full grown adult, wearing a trench coat.

“SHUT UP, THE LOT OF YOU!” yelled the platinum haired boy.

Loki watched them with little interest. “Where did you all come from?”

The black-haired teen shrugged. “Dunno. For a second, I was gunning down a stranded wolf mutt, then I passed out and found myself tied up with these guys for hours.”

Nodding, the prince turned to the rest of them impatiently. “And what of the rest of you?”

“Look, as much as I’d love to keep arguing,” said the older man, standing up to rub his wrists. “I have to go. I’ve got some Daleks that need taking care of, don’t know how important you all realize that is.”

Scoffing, the one with blond hair stood up to face the older man, who simply raised his eyebrow. “Oh, I get it. Demons are definitely below priority of...whatever you said. Especially when they’re possessing humans. Sure. Why not?”

“What do you know about demons?” the man in the trenchcoat said, also beginning to stand. He didn’t look provoking, just curious. “You seem very young to be a hunter.”

“Shadowhunter,” the teen corrected, rolling his eyes.

“And I have a date to get back to!” the shorter black haired boy piped up. All eyes were on him, and he blinked. “I do! She’s hot and a goddess!”

“Imaginary too, probably,” muttered the platinum blond. 

“Shut up, all of you, I’m trying to think,” Loki grumbled, massaging his temples. He really should have known better than offer you anything at all. The fact that you wanted to take your entire bookcase to Asgard should have told him that. It’s nice, however, he had to admit, learning that he was smart enough to not concern himself with someone who didn’t enjoy books…

“By the way, where’s the bathroom?” the boy questioned, squeezing his legs together. “I need to go potty.”

“Perhaps it might help if you went to sleep instead?” Loki asked, his voice innocent.

“What?” he laughed.

~~~~~~

“Wake up.”

“Nghhh…”

“Don’t make me do this. I really don’t want to.”

“.....”

“On second thought…”

SPLISH! 

*Splash! Make that pass!*  
(Sorry, my friend made that up for water polo) 

Instantly, you shot up, sputtering and gasping and blindly trying to choke Loki. “I HATE YOU!”

“No, you don’t,” he answered, throwing the bucket behind him. “Everyone hates me. You like me.”

“I’d like to strangle you,” you muttered, wringing some water out of your hair. “What’d you do that for?”

“I assume you know who these people are?”

You looked up and…

Oh my Chuck. It wasn’t a dream.  
They really were there.

“Do not pass out again,” Loki ordered, pinching your cheek.

“Ow,” you complained, taking another look at the passed out males in front of you. Now that you calmed down just a little bit, you could fully understand what the situation was. 

YOUR WILDEST DREAMS WERE COMING-

“NO!” you yelled, banging your head against the wall. “NO-BREAKING-INTO-TAYLOR-SWIFT-SONGS-Y/N!”

Loki observed you for a second, before quietly walking over to where he threw the bucket. He then proceeded to fill it with water, and once it was full, traveled back to where you were, and promptly threw it at you.

The nearly frozen water dripped over your face as you slowly turned to face the slightly smirking god. “Have I ever done that to you, your highness?”

“Holy taquitos!” the short, black haired boy yelped, waking up. “That was cold!”

You froze, mid-using your telekinesis to silently whack Loki behind the head with the bucket. Silence filled the air for a second, just like you planned, but just like you predicted, it didn’t last very long. “OH MY CHUCK, YOU’RE LEO VALDEZ!” you yelled, your voice echoing through the large halls as you jumped up and down. “LIKE, FLAME BOY VALDEZ! IT’S SUCH AN HONOR!”

Leo raised his eyebrow before holding out his glove-covered hand. “‘Bout time I met a fan!” he said, obviously delighted. You shook his hand with vigor, smiling endlessly through the way. “And Piper said it wouldn’t happen.”

“She’s wrong!” you cried out, jumping up and down to clap your hands again. “You’re awesome!”

“For once, I had a dream that wasn’t a nightmare,” the blond boy mumbled, shaking his head. “It was just dark.”

“You’re Jace Herondale,” you nearly whispered.

He turned to you with a weird look on his face. “Sorry, but I’m taken. Feel free to look at me, though.”

“YOU’RE FREAKING JACE HERONDALE!” you squealed, jumping forward, which caused him to step back hesitantly. At the speed of light, you were next to him, hands tugging open his mouth. You nearly screamed when you saw his incisor. “THERE’S A CHIP!” you cried.

“Okay, that’s a little too close,” Jace said, obviously uncomfortable and uncertain of whether or not he should whip out his blade or pat you on the back, so he ended up doing both.

Your screaming was loud enough to wake the dead, so it was pretty possible for the rest of the foreigners to wake up as well. And, of course, you continued to scream at the top of your lungs when they did. “GALE! CASTIEL! TENTH DOCTOR! MALFOY! Wait, what? I don’t even like him. WHATEVER!” you laughed, hugging a very distressed Gale on the torso.

He looked up at Loki, who was previously watching your exchange, but quickly averted his eyes so that he seemed to be observing his armor. “She...didn’t escape from an asylum...right?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Loki answered, finally reaching over to tug you away. “Come on, Y/N,” he strained, which surprised him considering Asgardians had much more strength than Midgardians. As in, much more strength.

“Gale, I really think you deserve to be happy,” you mused, not aware about how hard Loki was trying to pry you away. “You really do.”

“Thank...you?” he said, slowly turning his head away awkwardly.

“YOU ALL DO!” you said, nearly on the brink of tears. “YOU DON’T NEED TO SUFFER, ANYMORE!”

“God knows how much I’ve suffered,” Leo said, under his breath.

Castiel turned towards him with a hurt expression on his face. “We’re trying our best.”

“Do I get praise?” the Tenth Doctor said, his eyebrow raised. “Because I’d like some, but I’d also like to get going. Daleks to get rid of, you know.”

“AND ROSE TYLER IS WAITING FOR YOU!” you sang, and he reddened.

“That’s...not it.”

“Wait...Y/N,” Loki said, his voice insistent. He shook your shoulder, trying to get your attention away from the Tenth Doctor, who you were currently squeezing the life out of. “Y/N!”

“Jace, do you think you’ll marry Clary?” you said dreamily.

He looked taken aback, and was about to answer, but then you burst out with, “AND CAS, YOU AND DEAN ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO GET MARRIED!”

Cas’ face was nothing less of deadpan when he answered. “What.”

“Y/N! Listen to me!” Loki yelled, his voice unintentionally catching at the end.

You rolled your eyes, then reluctantly tilted your head back to look in his direction. “Yes?”

“Do you remember when we brought your bookcase here?” he asked, satisfied that he finally managed to get your attention. 

“That’s relevant, how?” you asked, starting to turn back around to your happy place.

In an instant, the prince pulled you away from the Doctor in your moment of weakness. “Obviously, Heimdall was there beforehand, otherwise there would be nobody to open the bridge,” he said, getting slightly excited. “So, your bookcase must have something to do with everybody disappearing and these...mortals...to appear on Asgard!”

He expected you to gap at him, to tell him he was obviously a genius, (not really, but that’s what he wanted to hear) but you actually looked pretty mad. 

“Okay, first of all, Reindeer Games, the Doctor is immortal, and so is Cas, cause he’s an angel, and Jace is part angel. Second of all, you don’t think I knew that already?”

“My name is not Reindeer Games,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. “It is Prince Loki, you piece of mortal scum-”

“Hey! At least she’s not a piece of...immortal scum!” Leo tried to insult.

“I’m so insulted,” Loki replied, turning around.

“Where are you going?” you called out.

“If you’re so intelligent, then you don’t really need my help, do you?”

“...Assbutt,” you muttered, taking Jace and Castiel’s arm. “Come on, guys.”

“You’re not taking us to some experimentation lab, right?” Gale questioned.

“Oh my God, I’m not a psychopath!” you exclaimed, smacking yourself in the forehead.

~~~~~~

“HOW DOES THIS WORK?!” you cried out. Through very extensive deductive reasoning (also, trial and error) you discovered that there were objects scattered throughout Asgard that had something to do with each story. The objects were the Elder Wand and locket Horcrux, the Mockingjay Pin, Riptide, a copy of the Mortal Cup, the Colt, and the TARDIS, which you had no idea how you missed. It was what hit you on the head the day in the gardens.

Just barely missing completely smashing you.

Then, you decided to put all of the stuff on your bookshelf, which made this big portal thingy appear. Apparently, it was very hungry, so it began eating the rainbow bridge. You couldn’t blame it; the bridge looked very sparkly and shiny.

And rainbowy. Very.

“YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING?” Jace yelled back. And you might have told your idols that you were an expert in portals. And that you were a goddess. And maybe that you were badass, too.

Sometime, you’ll have to get your IQ tested. It’s kind of obvious it wasn’t normal.

“OF COURSE I DON-DO!” you shouted back, your hair whipping in the wind as you held on for dear life. “JUST...GOT A FEW FACTORS WRONG, THAT’S ALL!”

“WE’RE GONNA DIE!” Leo screamed.

“SHUT UP!” Malfoy replied harshly. “I REFUSE TO DIE WITH A GROUP OF MUGGLES!”

“I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUT WE’RE GOING TO FALL TO OUR DEATHS IF YOU DON’T FIX THE PORTAL!” the Doctor exclaimed, blinking away the dust in his eyes.

“Alright, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself, slowly lifting your fingers from the edge of the bridge. “Slow and steady does it..”

Moving at an inch a minute, you actually managed to make it to your bookshelf, which was a cascading waterfall of colors rivaled only by the Bifrost in the light. The waves permeated a sort of heat that was both warm, yet could be categorized as extremely dangerous, similar to cookie dough.

“I GOT IT!” you said, triumphantly, as you managed to get on your feet, but a particularly strong gust of wind knocked you off your feet. “NEVER MIND!”

The gust, in contrast to what you thought, was there to stay. It blew you left and right, therefore leaving you unstable to stay upright and on the bridge. Your eyes widened, and you could only think for a second of how utterly stupid you were.

You closed your eyes, in fear of having to face the truth, when the wind suddenly died and a hand grasped your arm, you dangling in the face of certain death.


	13. ~Never Lost Before~

He knew you were stupid.

Very stupid.

Not intellectually stupid, far from it. Rationally stupid.

What you didn’t understand was that everybody else here was stupid, too, except for Loki, of course. Which was exactly why you needed him. Obviously.

Another reason you needed him was because of how ridiculously talented you were, and how you weren’t even close to understanding just how much. People were bound to try to use those talents for their own benefit.

Although he hasn’t exactly used it yet.

Figuring out that your Grace Portal Key was linked in the situation was simple; deciding whether or not he should save your “friends” was the difficult part. 

There he was, trying to help you, which he never does, and they come in and used the fact that you apparently idolized them against him. Of course, his care for you was extremely marginal, entirely platonic and a mere convenience. He decided to save you instead, but unfortunately, they disappeared as soon as he put the Key on your bookshelf.

After he lugged you up, you promptly passed out in his arms. Again.

As Loki pulled the covers over your body, he took a look around your room. Practically empty, except for the bookshelf. Walking over to it, he discovered that it didn’t just consist of books; there were a few strange-looking artifacts in there as well. Furrowing his brow, he lifted a tiny plush toy of a purple and magenta...what were they called? Unicorns? 

“What unusual choice colors for magical equines,” he murmured turning it around.

“HELLO! I AM PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE,” it suddenly said.

Loki threw it to the ground and stomped on it, hoping it would shut off, but no such luck. “ISN’T IT AMAZING? NOW I HAVE PRINCESS WINGS!”

“What is this sorcery?!” Loki said angrily, stomping harder.

“WITH MY HORN, I’LL DO MAGIC, AND SOAR UP IN THE SKY!”

“Begone, strange Midgardian toy!” Loki bellowed, green balls of energy starting to appear on his fingertips.

“ISN’T IT AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

BOOM.

~~~~~~

Who else wakes up to their plush toy singing?

Okay, good.

Who wakes up to a child hitting them with a toy?

Good, more of you…

Did you wake up in Asgard, with a magical plush Twilight hitting you in the head, courtesy of a child version of a Norse god?

(I win)

After stuffing one of the cookies beside your bed into the tiny Asgardian’s mouth, you took the plushie from his hand. Sighing, you sat staring at Loki chew his cookie carefully while his gigantic green eyes stared back at you. “What happened?” you deadpanned.

Swallowing, Loki patted your legs and replied, “More?”

“Get it yourself, kid,” you muttered, picking tiny Loki up by the torso.

He giggled in the most un-Loki like way and wiggled a bit. “That tickles!”

“I literally just picked you up!” you exclaimed, setting him down on the bed. As he reached for his cookies, you decided that, from his size, he was now about three or four years old. Or five. You didn’t understand how age worked on Asgard.

But he was so adorable.

“Lady Y/N!”

And there’s Thor. Perfect timing.

“Don’t come in!” you yelped, taking hold of Loki again, who looked up at you curiously. “I’m...naked!”

“Oh...Are you alright, though, my lady?” Thor called out, sounding concerned. “Everyone felt a strange anomaly go through the air for a moment or two, and in that moment, I could have sworn I felt myself-”

“I’m fine, Blondie!” you yelled, trying to get the Asgardian to stop poking your cheeks. “Just...I’m fine!”

“I will leave you then, my lady,” he chuckled, and finally his footsteps began to recede. As you breathed a sigh of relief, Thor came rushing back. “Have you seen my brother?”

“Uh…” you gulped, sneaking a peek at Loki, who you previously put on your pillow. Apparently, he found your drawer of undergarments, and was securing your bra on his head. “Put that back!” you hissed.

He just smiled. In a really adorable way.

“Dang it. Can’t be mad at you,” you grumbled, plucking the bra from his hands.

“Pardon?”

“He’s...probably at the library, don’t you think?” you replied, prying Loki’s tiny hands away from the rest of your underwear.

“Ah, yes! I do not wish to be the fool who disturbs him, I have learned my lesson!” the blonde prince laughed. “Thank you, Lady Y/N!”

Once he finally left, you groaned, and Loki tilted his head as your head crashed down. “Thor?” he asked, turning his head towards the door.

“Uh huh,” you answered, your voice muffled.

While he stared at you, you began banging your head on your poor pillow. “Why the heck didn’t I leave earlier?” you cried, wrapping your face in your hands. “I almost let my favorite characters die, and you turned into a kid! And that’s not even half of what happened while I was here!”

“Once I get you to turn into an adult again, I’m asking Frigga if I can leave,” you muttered, pressing the pillow to your face.

“Don’t leave,” a tiny voice said, hugging your arm. You moved your head to catch Loki nearly about to burst into tears.

“Aw, come on! I didn’t mean to make you cry,” you said, pulling him into your arms. As you rested your chin on his head, you rubbed his back soothingly. “I wouldn’t leave if you didn’t want me to.”

“Don’t leave me with Thor,” he said, his voice so quiet you could have sworn he didn’t say anything if Loki didn’t look up at you afterwards.

“So you still got grown-up Loki’s feelings, huh?” you said, chuckling. “You’re cuter, though.”

He smiled, leaning up to kiss your cheek. “You’re pretty.”

“Thank you,” you replied, slightly surprised. “I was born that way.” You wondered what caused him to be like this in the first place, and then you remembered:

Loki was hitting you with the Twilight Sparkle doll you got from that supposed “magician.”

(You had no idea what that had to do with anything, but it just had to. Just roll with it, I can’t find a reason, I just wanted to write about a tiny Loki.)

“Y/N!” Loki exclaimed, interrupting your thoughts. He held on to your finger and pulled, as if trying to take you somewhere.

“Where we goin’, Reindeer Games?” you asked.

He giggled and pulled harder. Seriously, was this the kid that grew up into the god you knew?

Well, to be fair, when you were a kid, you may have been that one girl selling expired cookies to your peers for money.   
On second thought, not much has changed. 

“It’s a surprise,” he whispered, letting go of your finger to push your legs. “Hurry up!”

“Well, if you say it like that…” You fell to the ground suddenly, and Loki jumped out of the way just in time. 

“Get up!” he ordered, poking your cheeks once more. “Get up, mewling quim!”

You pretended to choke dramatically, and said in a raspy voice, “I-I don’t think I can. Loki...please...tell Thor *cough* I will always...love him-”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he whined, pulling at your legs desperately. “LOVE ME,” he nearly yelled.

“This can’t be a one-sided relationship, Reindeer Games,” you continued in the same state. “You...need to...love me too…”

He stopped pulling for a few moments, and you popped open an eye to see what he was doing now. Loki sat staring at you, before grabbing your finger once again. “Come,” he insisted.

“Um...okay,” you replied, hesitantly standing to follow him. Might as well, the poor kid’s been trying to pull someone twice his weight to get you to see this.

He led you out to the balcony and spread his arms, wanting to be lifted. When you did so, he hugged your neck and pressed his face against your cheek. “So...this is really cute and all, but what are we out here for?” you asked, nudging his back.

“Tell me a story,” he ordered, instead of answering your question. “From your books.”

“All of my books into one story?” you joked, and he looked at you, annoyed.

“Fine,” you said, rolling your eyes. “The most recent one I’ve read was Divergent, and it’s about-”

“Story that you wrote,” he murmured, burying his face in your neck.

“You mean...fanfiction?” you asked, confused. “They have fanfiction on Asgard?”

(Reader, don’t question the plot. Just go with it.)

“Oh, okay narrator,” you muttered, setting Loki down on the railing while keeping a tight hold on him. “So...in one of them, Tris and Four and in a kind of World War II AU, where Four is this general, and Tris is one of the few women who made it into his Black Ops Squad, and-”

It wasn’t that long into chapter thirty-seven when his eyes began to droop. Slowly, you walked towards your bed to set him down, and he went along without reluctance. You sighed, watching his tiny form hug your pillow, and smiled involuntarily. 

Come on, wouldn’t you?

Rubbing your eyes, you realized that maybe it was time for you to go sleepy-bye, too, so you started to walk towards the couch, but then Loki’s tiny voice called out to you.

“Y/N?” he said, sitting up. “Where are you going?”

“Gonna sleep,” you said, mentally preparing yourself to collapse.

“Sleep next to me,” he ordered once again. You raised your eyebrow automatically, but then he put on a pleading face. “Please?”

~~~~~~

Loki’s first thoughts when he woke up were that he most certainly wasn’t in his room.

It was, in fact, your room.

And you were, in fact, sleeping next to him, arms wrapped tight around his torso.

And he was, in fact, surprisingly okay with it.

So okay, in fact, he decided that a few more hours of sleep would most certainly not hurt.

 

Plus, he was tired.


	14. ~Not About To Give Up~

“I turned into a child?”

“Yeah! You were all cute and everything!” you exclaimed, falling upon your couch.

When you woke up, you found Loki to still be asleep, so you used your telekinesis to gently float him back to his room, earning the stare of some very curious maids along the way. You just didn’t want to have to deal with the awkwardness of being there with him in the morning.

Once he finally woke up, you explained what had happened that night. The part he was most concerned about was how it happened. According to him, he simply had sicced a burst of concentrated energy at your plushie when it started to sing, but the reaction was strange. 

“It had to have something to do with the toy,” Loki muttered, pacing the floor of his room while you took a bowl of nuts from his nightstand.

“Obviously, there was nothing faulty with my magic,” he continued, oblivious to your overly loud chewing. “It was inside your bookcase, which served as a portal to the worlds where our foreign guests came hither.”

“Hither!” you piped in, bits of nuts popping out of your mouth.

“Yes, hither,” he replied absently. “It is possible that some of the magic from the Grace Portal Key remains on your bookcase, thus enchanting everything in it.”

A particularly large walnut got stuck in your throat, and you fell to the ground, choking and sputtering. Loki, still pacing, continued to talk. “I suppose that could be a possibility, or it would simply be a random reaction to my magic, something very unlikely.”

After pounding your chest for what seemed like a billion times, the walnut flew out and landed underneath Loki’s dresser. His feet stopped in front of you, and you looked up at his raised eyebrows. “What are you doing on the floor?”

“Finding the cure to cancer,” you coughed, wiping your mouth.

“Immortality,” he replied, handing you a napkin before walking towards the door. “Come along, now.”

“Where are we going?” you asked, after cleaning yourself quickly and following suit.

“We are going to investigate where the outlet of your bookcase magic is,” he answered promptly.

“Oh. That’s-aw, crud,” you whispered, hiding behind a pillar.

He stopped in his tracks to look at you. “What is it?”

You held your index finger out in front of you. “Thor-Worshippers, coming ten o’clock down the top of the T hallway.”

His mouth twitched, but Loki rolled his eyes regardless. “Really? What do you have to fear of them?”

“Nothing,” you answered, tucking your body under a table nearby. “I can just see who’s willing to keep fighting a fight they don’t know anything about.”

Loki turned his head towards the hallway the girls were bound to pass by and waved his hand. An illusion of Thor appeared, and the high-pitched squeals of several adoring fans were heard. Fake-Thor smiled and headed towards their way, while Loki held out his hand for you.

Soon, their voices could no longer be heard, and you stepped out from under the table and shook your head. “That was low-”

“Don’t say it,” he said, his face suddenly daring you to say-

“Low-key.”

He stared at you for a second before reaching over to pick up a bucket from on the corner of the table and dumping its contents on your head. “Are you serious?!” you exclaimed, trying to wring out the water out of your clothes. “Stop dumping water on my head!”

“Is it my fault there is an excess of buckets in the palace?” he asked innocently, before smirking and continuing to walk towards your room.

“I’d kill him if he wasn’t such a cute cupcake-hole,” you grumbled, throwing your hair back to follow him.

~~~~~~  
“So...did you find anything?” you asked, chewing on your cookies while the raven-haired prince observed the contents of your bookcase.

“Not yet,” he murmured, turning over your Twilight Sparkle doll. He set it down gently before taking out Mockingjay and flipping it open. “Gale…” Loki mused. “Wasn’t he-”

“The guy we met? Yeah.”

He nodded, and silence filled the air for a few seconds before you asked, “What exactly happened when I was asleep and before you turned into a kid?”

“Well…” He picked the doll up once again. “I commented on the bizarre nature of this Midgard toy, and then it began to sing, persisting even when I stepped on it-”

“YOU STEPPED ON TWILY??”

“-and after that, well, I can only guess that was when I turned into a child,” he deducted, furrowing his brows. “And then I woke up next...in my room.”

Holding up a hand, you said, “Time out. Why don’t we go back to the part where you STEPPED ON MY PURPLE MAGICAL PONY, HUH?”

“It’s just a toy,” he commented, raising an eyebrow.

You breathed in deeply, before turning away from the god. Reaching into a basket next to your Harry Potter books, you smiled softly in relief of feeling the familiar hard, rectangle-outline of a box filled with one of your favorite desserts: chocolate lava cupcakes.

Loki took up to pacing around your room while you flipped open the cover and picked up a cupcake, licking your mouth in anticipation. “Just a simple Midgardian toy, yet it had the capability of turning a god into a younger version of himself. As I stated earlier-what is that?”

“This?” you asked, holding up your treat with half of it in your mouth. “This is heaven-or, you know...Valhalla.”

Furrowing his brows, he replied hesitantly, “Valhalla is...a place-”

“Midgard reference.”

“Oh.” He nodded and watched as you licked your fingers, quick to finish the cupcake. “Is it...good?”

“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging. “Do you want one?”

The raven-haired prince stepped forward slightly, as if to take up your offer, but immediately his emerald eyes grew wide with horror and he stumbled back.

“What?” you said...or tried to. What came out was entirely different.

“Meow?”

“Odin’s beard,” he whispered. Loki began backing away, around you, and moved in the direction of the door. You followed suit desperately, attempting to walk on two legs, but then struggling to move quickly on four. 

“Meow!”

Upon falling on your face, then hitting the table, thus knocking your entire container cover on top of your tiny figure, Loki stopped moving back and sighed. “Meow!” you tried to yell, scratching the sides of the container frantically.

Rolling his eyes slightly, he knelt down. “It’s alright, little one, stop mewling.”

“Meow!” you jumped up as soon as he lifted the plastic piece of confinement into the air and back on the cupcake container.

Letting out a deep breath, Loki fully crouched in order to take a better look at your kitty self, which was currently tilting its head in curiousity. The corner of his mouth lifted up as he said softly, “I suppose now it would be appropriate to refer to you as a ‘mewling quim,’ would it not?”

You stared at him for a second, then proceeded to walk under him to reach the door. He chuckled, turning around, and lifted you up by your paws. “Meow,” you said involuntarily, turning your head.

“You’re very tiny,” Loki noted, twirling you around senselessly, while you meowed in annoyance. “And...mildly adorable,” he added, smirking, setting you down on the counter. You lifted your nose up, upon catching a delicious scent, and followed it all the way to the container with the cupcakes.

Loki pulled up a chair to watch you try to stuff your entire face into a cupcake, which was obviously bigger. If anyone else was here, he would have tried to stuff you in the box and throw you outside. But since no one was…

“BROTHER!”

The god snatched you up, and with your whiskers trailing chocolate sauce, stuffed you in his shirt. With all the bulky features of his layers, you were concealed quite nicely, but the only problem was…

You wanted to explore.  
(Cat instincts, not Y/N instincts)

“Yes, Thor?” Loki deadpanned, as his brother bursted into his room like he owned the place. Thor had this huge grin on his face, so the raven-haired prince predicted his news would either be about something he destroyed or something he helped destroy.

“I do not mean to be a fuss, but Mother wanted to know if Y/N perhaps, meant something for you?” he questioned, and behind a pillar outside the room, Frigga slapped her forehead and sighed.

“Even if she did, what is it-to-YOU,” he replied, calmly at first, but ended wriggling in a very awkward and un-Loki like way. 

“Brother, are you-”

“I’M FINE!” he yelled, pressing a hand gently to his stomach, to locate what, Thor didn’t know.

Pursing his lips, Thor reached out to his brother, but then Loki grasped the inside of his shirt and shook vigorously. “Loki, I really think-”

“GAAAAH, GET OFF, YOU MEWLING QUIM. THAT IS NOT FOR YOU!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, pounding a fist at his...crotch area…

“I think I will come back later,” Thor said slowly, before darting away as fast as his legs could carry him. Loki struggled to shut the door behind him, then the moment it shut, he tore off his clothes in search of the stupid little kitten that managed to find its way into forbidden corridors.

You watched, head tilted, on your night table, as the god of lies threw his clothes all around his room. At one point, one of his articles of clothing landed on your head. “Meow,” you said, your voice muffled by the shirt you tried to push off.

“You,” a voice so harsh you could hardly expect it to be Loki’s, snarled as he threw the shirt off the night table and lifted you up by the scruff of your neck. He glared at you with an intensity that made you wish you didn’t need to pee.

“I am going to put you in a box and throw you out this window!” he exclaimed, shoving you in the direction of the window in your room. Loki turned you to face his furious face again, much to your discomfort. “Do you want that?”

In response, he felt a wet sensation around where the hand that wasn’t holding the scruff was. “Meow,” you said, relieved.

His eye literally twitched, before he put you down and began getting dressed. You tried to sneak away by jumping off the table and under your bed, but he caught you mid-air. Loki shoved his dirty hand in his pocket, and then began walking, with you in a coat pocket, to Chuck knows where.

“Meow?” you questioned, trying to wriggle your head out, but he shoved it back down.

The struggle became real as you fought for dominance, your entire head pushing up against how he held you down by the palm easily. When he finally let you out, you smelled the fresh breeze and familiar flowers.

“There,” Loki said, dropping you from his hand to the ground. You sniffed your surroundings, then turned around and attempted to jump back in his pocket, but he had already began backing away.

Grinning slightly, he waved his hand, satisfied, as it looked, with his decision to leave you out in the garden, apparently done with you. “Meow!” you yelled, but your pathetic mewls obviously did nothing to change his mind. You tried to run after him, but after he shut the gate, you knew you were stuck there.

As the prince disappeared from view, you looked around in an effort to satisfy your sudden need for food, considering you didn’t exactly finish your cupcakes. Your nose suddenly caught the scent of something else familiar…

CHOCOLATE.

“Meow!” you exclaimed happily, bounding towards the delightful smell. Unfortunately, before you could get any farther, huge feet stood in your way. Your head turned up slowly to meet the gaze of two of the girls from the Selection.

For a second, you panicked, thinking that they were going to say something that would be likely to earn them a punch, but you breathed a sigh of relief upon remembering that you weren’t exactly in your body.

However, that didn’t seem to matter to them.

What kind of twisted soul smirks at kittens in a really evil way??

~~~~~~

He shouldn’t care.

He really shouldn’t.

So what if you were in danger out there, a tiny Midgardian kitten, all on her lonesome, left to fend for herself because no man chose to protect her?

Not that he for a second thought of himself that way, no.

That would be preposterous.

But...he probably should just start looking for you. Just in case you were eating Asgardian birds, or if they were eating you. That would be more likely. You were so tiny…

Loki strode leisurely through the gardens, his eyes scanning both the ground and the flower beds. His ears listened for the tell-tale sounds of your little mewls. Yet, he couldn’t hear any-

“MEOW!”

There it is.

He quickened his pace to follow the sound, which looked like it came from his mother’s personal garden waterfall. As he began to turn the corner, his eyes widened in waxy horror as he heard two female voices, not accounting for your tiny kitten voice. “Should we just leave it in there?”

“If we do, it is going to make all of Asgard’s water dirty with its putrid fur.”

“Stop splashing, you insignificant creature! By Odin’s beard, can’t you swim properly?”

“Hmm...I do not think it knows how-”

“Put her down.”

The two ladies turned around, unblinking, as they turned to face the point of a dagger held by none other than the dark prince. The one with blonde hair held you up, dripping wet, and promptly let you go. Into the water.

You mewled frantically as your paws worked to paddle themselves to the surface. Loki quickly rushed over and scooped you out of the water and attempted to dry your fur with his coat. He looked up briefly to send a melting glare towards the ladies, who scurried off. Turning back to you, he began rubbing your head in a soothing away.

“It’s alright, Y/N…” he said softly. “You’re alright now.”

“Meow,” you said, shaking uncontrollably. Despite the fact that it was this guy’s fault that two idiots tried to drown you, you couldn’t help but bury your tiny head into his warm figure. Loki pulled you inside to make you warmer as he walked back towards the palace. Eventually, the warm-fuzzy feeling and the sensation of each of his footsteps caused your eyes to droop, and you to fall into a heavy sleep.

~~~~~~

As Loki gently tucked you into his blanket, he sighed deeply. Sitting on the edge, he regretfully stroked the tips of your ears and shook his head. “Since you’re asleep...and a kitten,” he added, “I suppose now would be an appropriate time to...apologize.”

You didn’t answer, too heavily immersed in a good dream about Swedish Fish. Your tail wiggled a little, but no other reaction otherwise. Loki pulled his fingers away reluctantly and pushed himself down on his bed so he could watch you better. “I’ve known you for a few weeks, yet each day, you seem like a different person that I saw no less than twenty-four hours ago, evidence being, well, this instance, but you have the same qualities. Why is that?”

When you didn’t meow in reply, he poked your quivering nose gently. “At any rate, I...apologize for leaving you out in the garden. And leaving you when you were too enthralled with your idols to think correctly. And accusing you of betrayal. And...attempting to use you for my own selfish, marriage-destroying purposes. While I have done so…”

Loki struggled to swallow. “You...were there...when I needed you, as a child. Even if it was for a simple night, the thought of abandoning me outside didn’t cross your mind. For that...I...thank you.”

“Meow,” you said dreamily, turning over.

“Don’t make me move,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

Apparently, you were stubborn even in your sleep, so he sighed, got up, and walked around to lay in front of you again. So, of course, you turned back around. 

Loki stared at your sleeping back for a second before a small smile grew on his face. He turned to face the ceiling and shook his head. 

“I hate Midgardians.”


	15. ~Only Bringing In More~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin demands you either marry Thor...or go home :(

“IT BURNS!”

“Y/N, darling-”

“THE MEMORIES, REINDEER GAMES! WHY IN CHUCK’S NAME DID YOU LET ME CRAWL AROUND IN YOUR PANTS??”

“I didn’t, it was something you did on your own accord.”

“I WAS A KITTEN. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN I WOULD’VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED AFTERWARDS.”

“...Yes, you really should have. But you’re not stupid.”

“THAT IS REALLY...wait, what?” you exclaimed, turning to face the reading god with confusion. “Did you just say...I’m...not stupid?”

He shrugged indifferently as he flipped the page of your Fault in Our Stars book. “Not as stupid as these two lovers.”

“Are you kidding me? They belong together!” you exploded, stomping over to slap the book out of his hands, but he turned away in the last second.

“They were both destined to die, why bother?” he asked, continuing to read as if you weren’t struggling to get the book away from him.

“If you’re gonna question it, then don’t read it!” you exclaimed.

“I just want to see how they go through with it, that’s all,” he chuckled, standing up to hold the book above his head as he read.

“No fair!” you complained, stomping your foot. “You’re like seven feet tall!”

“It’s closer to six feet,” he corrected, stealing a look at your pouting face. “But I’m still much taller than you are.”

“GIMME!” you suddenly yelled, and with unrivaled bravery and determination, you jumped on top of the god, startling him. Both of you rolled to the ground, the book sliding behind the door. You looked down at his surprised face for a second before attempting to crawl towards the book.

Once he recovered, immediately, he threw his entire weight on you before you could fully get off of him. Before he could have a chance to smirk, you kneed him right in his soft spot. He groaned, falling off, clutching his crotch in pain. 

“Ha!” you yelled triumphantly, holding the book up. You stood and walked to put it back on the shelf, but not before Loki recovered once again and pulled you down under him.

It was in that awkward moment that Thor decided to forget how to knock and walk in. 

“Brother? Have you seen Lady Y/N….”

“Thor…”

“MOTHER! MOTHER, IT’S HAPPENED!” Thor began to run out the hallway laughing, Mjolnir trailing behind him on his belt.

“Thor? THOR, GET BACK HERE!” Loki yelled, struggling to get up. He ran after the laughing prince frantically.

You slowly got up, shaking your head as you chuckled slightly. Honestly, you want to see his mother’s reaction, but you were really hungry. Like, you ate nothing as a kitten hungry. Not even milk.   
Which was bad.  
Cause you were a kitten.  
Kittens were too cute to starve.

Anyways, as you made your way to the kitchen, you smelled this wonderful scent coming from its direction. Licking your lips, you hastened your pace in anticipation. You threw open the door and clapped in triumph when you saw the big bowl of those yummy chocolate balls and crispy cookies. 

Immediately, you took about two in each hand and tried to shove it in (cause duh, nobody’s looking), but stopped in your tracks and soon as you heard a male voice say dryly, “Somebody’s hungry.”

You swallowed with extreme difficulty before turning to bow at the AllFather. “Hello-Wait, no. Good evening-Is it morning? Just a sec-”

He waved a hand and walked towards you. His feet stopped before you and you had to force yourself not to cringe at literally being at his feet. “You may rise.”

Standing slowly, your eyes still refused to go higher up than Odin’s chest. Sweat trickled down to your brow at the thought of why he what he was doing here. Obviously, he didn’t come to the kitchen for a snack, seeing as he could easily get a servant to do so, and it was pretty hard to see the King of Asgard cheating on his diet.

Then again, it might just be a coincidence, and he might just be trying to get to know you, right?

“I wish to talk to you about the wedding arrangements for my son, Thor,” he started, walking around you to reach for the rolls in basket. Apparently, he was here to cheat his diet.

“Did...he choose already?” you asked, confused. “I thought there were like, ten girls left.”

“There are,” Odin replied, breaking a bread in half and examining it. “But it seems as if more than a few girls here...are just not fit to be queen.”

“It was kind of a random thing,” you muttered.

“What did you say?” 

You gulped. “Nothing.”

“As I said,” Odin continued slowly, “-nearly all of the girls want nothing more than the throne, and are not strictly willing to make my son happy, which is truly all I wish for, other than a capable queen.”

“So...you’re going to send them home?” you asked hopefully.

“Correct,” he answered, and you silently pumped your fist in the air. “But not you.”

“Wait, so they’re leaving, and I get to stay in Asgard?” you exclaimed, getting more excited by the second. Thoughts of what you would do everyday without having to avoid anyone ran through your head moved like lightning. You’d probably have sleepovers with Sif, sparring with Fandral, hair makeovers with Thor, and, if he wanted to, reading sessions with Loki.

It would be a dream come true. At the beginning, you might have said otherwise, but now...now it was different. No expectations, no pressure, and absolutely nothing will stand in your way. 

“Married to Thor, yes.”

Except maybe that.

“Wait, what?” you exclaimed incredulously, looking up to face the AllFather. “Married, to, like, blonde Thor?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is there any other?”

“But…” you said, stuttering as you tried to find any excuse to slow down the moment so your brain would have time to properly register it. “...why me?”

“You seem to get along with the subjects well enough, especially the children,” Odin supplied. “I suppose that will come in handy for the future heirs, yes?”

Silence filled the air for a second before you began backing out of the room, stumbling as you went along. “Um, thank you, Lord Odin, but I’d really rather not.”

“Then your only other option is to leave.”

“Quoi?!” you exclaimed, accidentally knocking over a bowl of dough. You managed to catch it before it could shatter on the floor, and sighed in relief, but almost immediately another bowl fell and spread across the floor.

Odin was still watching you as you attempted to dust yourself off. “Isn’t...isn’t there, like, a bond or something? Will I die if I stay there?”

 

“I am the only one able to break this bond, young maiden,” he replied, flicking a bit of dough off of his robe. “I set it.”

“Then-”

“It’s a simple choice, Lady Y/N. Stay and marry Thor, or leave. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been quite an...influence...on my younger son.”

“You mean Loki?” you asked, taken aback. “He’s been trying to control me!”

“Nevertheless,” he stated, waving a hand, “Asgard cannot waste resources on a single person who does not belong here.”

You blinked slowly before setting yourself down on a nearby stool absently, while Odin squinted at your short figure. “Is going home not what you wanted from the very beginning?”

“It is,” you said instinctively, rubbing the back of your neck. It was...wasn’t it? 

“Then go get your things, you’ll leave at once,” Odin proclaimed, walking out the door. 

“Right now?” you asked, quickly standing, brows arched.

“Right now,” he confirmed, before the edge of his robe sweeped the frame of the door and he shut the door with vigorance.

~~~~~~

The portal was even more frightening now that you were traveling all alone. Although Heimdall didn’t seem to think it was really going to eat you, as you proclaimed, he allowed you to hold Twilight to your chest instead of transporting her beforehand along with your bookcase.

When Odin said now, he seriously meant now. The moment you stepped outside the kitchen, a servant appeared to tell you that your bookcase was already at the portal, and that it was all ready for you. You didn’t even get a chance to look for Thor, Sif, or the others to say bye. Loki, though...you were pretty sure he wouldn’t care.

Which really hurt you for some reason.

Why, though? you wondered. He’d been trying to use you to create some trouble for his brother, that much was clear. When Asgard disappeared, he immediately blamed you. He left you in the garden when you were a little kitty. Why would you care if someone like that didn’t miss you?

“Lady Y/N, are you alright?” Heimdall asked gravely, his honey eyes scanning you in concern.

Plastering a smirk on your face, you shrugged. “Do I look like I’m not alright?”

He stood, observing you for a few more moments, before turning towards his sword. “I see all, Lady Y/N, and I do know for a fact that you are not alright. However, that is a matter I will not involve myself in.”

You couldn’t say anything in reply, because in the next moment a swirling vortex sucked you and Twilight in, and in the moment following, you found yourself kneeling at the center of your bedroom. As you slowly got up, you blinked in recognition of your new surroundings. 

Home sweet home.

Right?

~~~~~~

Odin smiled as you sat on your bed, beginning to open a book. The crystal blurred some of the picture, but he could tell that you didn’t suspect a thing.

“Is it done, my Lady?” a thousand voices whispered as one from inside the crystal encrusted crown.

“It is done,” the AllFather confirmed, his appearance slowly morphing into one of a young maiden with fiery golden hair. “With the AllFather asleep, and the Element of Magic out of my way, nothing can stop me now.”


	16. ~Can Smell Your Fear~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki, naturally, suspects something else under you going home. And, naturally, he was right.
> 
> But it's not always fun to be right, is it?

“MOTHER! MOTHER! IT HAPPENED!” Thor cried out triumphantly, running out frantically to the hall to inform his mother.

“Thor! Wait!” Loki hollered, his voice hoarse from efforts to call out that ultimately ended in vain, as he could have been talking to a wall for how much Thor paid attention to him. Finally, after conjuring a hallway where a wall should have been, Loki was able to stop his brother in his tracks. “What do you think you’re doing, brother?”

“I’m going-” Thor grunted, “-to tell Mother that her prediction of you courting Lady Y/N has come true.”

The younger prince rolled his eyes before replying. “There is nothing between me and Lady Y/N.”

“Are you certain, brother?” Thor asked mischievously, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Because from what I see-”

“Not much, considering the size of your ego.”

“-you were fairly fond of her when she was a kitten.”

Loki nearly gagged on his own saliva. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he managed to reply smoothly.

Thor managed to wink at him before standing up. He clapped his shoulder before walking past him in the direction they came from. “We shall see about that.”

“Where are you going now?” Loki asked, following, but annoyed.

“To find Lady Y/N,” Thor stated. taking up Mjolnir in his right fist. “And question her for the reason you were in that position when I came in.”

“It was nothing!” Loki insisted, but Thor simply chuckled and kept moving forward.

“We shall see,” he repeated.

They pushed open the door to your room, but you weren’t there shoving cookies in your mouth. Neither were you in the kitchen or Loki’s room. 

“Perhaps she is with Mother?” Loki suggested.

Thor shook his head. “Mother is in a meeting with several royals from other kingdoms. She isn’t to be disturbed.”

Loki blinked. “Then why were you so eager as to disturb here with news of my “courting” to Lady Y/N?”

He shrugged. “That was a matter of great importance.”

The younger prince raised an eyebrow. “Such as the fact that this morning I caught you sneaking into Lady Y/N’s room and cuddling her magical horse?”

Paling, his brother tried to answer innocently. “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I do. And she’s gone,” their father’s voice answered from behind them.

Thor gasped quietly as he turned around. “The purple magical doll is lost? Lady Y/N will be most upset!”

Odin massaged his temples before looking up to glare at his oldest son. “Not the doll. Lady Y/N.”

“Lady Y/N is the magical doll?” Thor asked, clearly confused.

“What do you mean, she’s gone?” Loki asked, his voice interrupting Thor’s.

“Lady Y/N is gone,” Odin replied firmly. “I allowed her to go back to Midgard.”

“What about the oath?” questioned the raven-haired prince.

“She never took the oath, remember?”

“Lady Y/N was telling the truth about not taking the oath? I thought she was jesting!” Thor put his hand on his brother’s shoulder, about to ask him another question, but he shoved him away harshly.

“What did you tell her?” Loki said, his voice turning into a growl.

Odin answered as if he didn’t hear his son’s threatening tone. “She asked if she may go back to Midgard, seeing as her disinterest in Thor’s marriage defeats her purpose of being here. That, and she tired of having to constantly entertain Loki in his ordeals and antics.”

The AllFather shrugged indifferently. “It truly is a shame. I tried to convince her to stay, but apparently that was far from her agenda.”

A stunned silence lingered in the air before Thor shook his head violently. “Even if Lady Y/N decided to leave, she would never leave without saying goodbye. Especially to Loki-”

“I told you there was nothing between us!” Loki snapped. “If Lady Y/N wished to leave, then it is well that she did so!”

His brother stared at him for a second before attempting to comfort him with a touch of his hand. “Brother-”

“Leave me be,” he muttered, pushing his hand away once more before stomping away.

Thor watched his brother storm away, clearly upset. Furrowing his brows, he turned back to his father with another slight shake of his head before following Loki. “Brother!”

Odin sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. He thought that perhaps taking you out of the scene would keep these two princes down, but no such luck.

“Nothing ever comes easy, doesn’t it?” he grumbled, tucking his fingers in his robe to take out the crown. With a deep breath, his appearance morphed into one of the gatekeeper of Asgard, who was far too busy struggling with his bonds in the dungeon to argue.

~~~~~~

Loki whipped the reins of his horse roughly, not taking care if he were to fall off or hurt the horse. Thor was behind him, yelling frantically on his own horse, but there was no way he could have noticed that with all of the thoughts running through his head at a million miles per hour.

You left? Why? 

Here, you had gained powers, and even got Odin to favor you, if impressing him counted as having him in your favor. You could have even charmed your way to his brother’s heart if you wanted. Of course, he reasoned, you wouldn’t be that much of an idiot. The younger prince wouldn’t have minded if you had stayed…

But you left. And that was fine. The only reason he lost his temper in front of his father and Thor was merely because of the fact that you had left without bowing and thanking Loki gracefully for allowing you to bask in his presence.

And yet, you’re angry anyhow, his subconscious told him smugly, because you want her to tell you why she left.

His mind went back to when you were a tiny, little, helpless kitten. He fought to keep a smirk off of his face to your pathetic mewls when you needed him. It was so unlike the mortal version of you, who walked like she owned the world and was willing to rent off pieces off it to wealthy buyers. Or to anyone with yummy food.

It was then that he remembered that at one point, he needed you, too. Only one point, thankfully. Or is it more? he wondered. He hadn’t felt such a time when he was actually needed until you came along, with a thirst for mischief and an immediate dislike which resulted in your alliance with the youngest prince. Unless you count when Odin needed someone to blame for Thor’s screwups.

Do you need him...or does he need you?

He didn’t want to think about that.   
You were gone, and that was that.

It didn’t seem right.

“LOKI!” Thor called out, finally able to catch up to his brother, who had jumped off of his horse and began to walk steadily on foot. “Brother-”

“I thought I told you to leave me be,” he replied, attempting to sound stoic, but it ended up seeming bitter.

“What are we doing here?” the older prince asked, taking note of his surroundings. That was the moment where Loki realized the location he intended to go to: the bridge from the other realms to Asgard. Thor elbowed his younger brother playfully. trying to lighten the mood. “Are we going on a quest to bring your lady back, brother?”

“No,” Loki deadpanned, catching the gaze of the gatekeeper Heimdall up ahead, who stood watching them approach. 

Once they got within arm’s reach, he bowed his head slightly. “What can I do for you, your highnesses?”

“Take us to Midgard,” he demanded.

As Heimdall nodded his head in reply and began the preparations for the portal, Thor blinked and looked at his brother confusedly. “Well...that was easy.”

Loki didn’t voice his opinion and instead followed Heimdall in. He watched the gatekeeper’s motions carefully, his emerald eyes scanning him for any pre-planned actions, for in the back of his mind, there was lingering feeling that something wasn’t quite in place…

Thor stood next to him, his eyes darting from Heimdall to his stone-faced brother. When Loki refused to speak in the midst of performing nonsensical actions, it usually meant that he saw something underneath, or was the one planning that interior action. The older prince usually saved thinking for the battlefield, where the next strike must be capable of bringing down an enemy, lest you tire before they fall.

Heimdall looked up at both of them with a slight tilt of his head. “Is there something the matter, your highnesses?”

“Why did you let us in so easily?” Loki asked, his tone as calculating as ever.

The gatekeeper shrugged, and Thor finally saw, after stealing one more gaze of his brother, that he was actually suspicious of Heimdall. Unfortunately, the blonde prince couldn’t exactly find anything worth being suspicious of, as the answer to Loki’s question resided in the answer that Heimdall was loyal to Asgard’s royals.

However, as Heimdall turned his gaze to Thor, the older prince blinked in surprise. “Are your eyes alright, gatekeeper? They seem a little...dark, to be honest-”

Before he could say anything else, Loki whipped out a dagger he had hidden in his cloak and attempted to throw it at Heimdall, but the gatekeeper dodged it easily. The raven-haired magician held his hand out, but not a split second later, Heimdall pulled out something shaped like a crown and, upon holding it in front of his brother, a stream of green energy coursed from his body to the jewel at the center.

Loki dropped his arm, and fell to his knees, gasping. Thor watched his brother fall with a furious look on his face before turning to the smirking gatekeeper. “Heimdall? You dare betray a son of Odin?”

“No, Thor!” Loki exclaimed, but could only watch in horror as his brother threw his hammer full of force...only to have it drop harmlessly as a similarly flowing stream of silver flowed from his figure to the jewel on the crown.

“H-Hammer…” Thor mustered, his voice hoarse, but before Mjolnir could answer, Heimdall shoved the crown in his armor and opened the portal.

To Midgard.

~~~~~~  
“Why couldn’t you drive the van yourself?”

“I got enough stuff to pay for other than speeding tickets, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, but kept them more or less on the bumpy road. The van was a parting gift from your cousins, right before they disappeared cause the FBI was apparently after them. Huh. 

Darcy had asked you in the morning, during dance practice, which you had to make an excuse for, by the way, to come with her on a trip her mentor and her co-worker were taking to the desert to observe something tonight. When she went to your apartment (no doubt to loot some of your books, claiming to only want to “borrow” them when you caught her), the first thing she did was hug you, then tell you all about her internship.

After that, she tried to ask about why you came back, but you shut her off quickly, turning the conversation. Luckily, she got the hint and instead tried to insist you come with her when she’s helping Jane. It was only later when you found out that the van they had was incredibly unattractive and broken down, compared to your sleek black one.

“It’ll be fun!’ she said. ‘You’ll learn a lot!’ she said,” you mocked under your breath after narrowingly avoiding another cactus. “The only thing I’m learning is how drive over a million speed bumps.”

“Park here,” Jane requested, already in the process of unbuckling her seat belt. Once you were fully parked, she pressed a button, and the roof panels of your van popped open. As you were driving, Jane and Erik Selvig had installed a bunch of astronomical stuff on the panels, so that when it opened, they were all pointed at the sky. “Hurry!” she exclaimed, but as he tried to see out, Erik bumped his head on the roof and cursed.

“Oh, watch your head,” you advised cheerfully.

“Thanks,” he replied, standing to join Jane. They began to talk about some stuff you couldn’t hear, as their voices were muffled by the wind, leaving you to talk with Darcy.

She turned to you with a raised eyebrow. “So...how’s life?”

You uncapped a soda before answering. “She forced me to be friends with Darcy Lewis.”

Darcy shrugged, grinning. “She likes you, then!”

When you drank your drink instead of saying anything else, she hopped up from her seat in the back to sit next to you instead. “Y/N…”

You swallowed your drink and closed your eyes, expecting the inevitable. “You ready to talk?”

“Darce…” sighing heavily, you placed your can on the cupholder before holding your palm to your face. “It was nothing.”

“What the heck happened? Why’d you come back? Why is it so freaking painful, like “my past is horrible, and there’s no way I’m going to say anything about it cause the plot will be shorter?””

“It’s not painful!” you immediately replied, shifting your seat. “It was just...I wanted to leave?”

“Ha ha.”

“I’m serious!”

“So...just so it's clear...You don’t at all miss Rock of Ages?”

“Rock of Ages?” you muttered questioningly.

Darcy waved a hand. “It’s my nickname for your new boyfriend.”

“He’s not....You know what, Darce?”

“Soon enough, aliens are bound to come back to Earth?”

“What? No, look, he wanted me to leave, okay?” you answered angrily, though you really couldn’t understand why. If that stupid magical prince of Asgard didn’t want to be friends, then there really wasn’t anything you could do, right? So, obviously, you should just forget about him.

Right?

A blanket of silence filled the van, right before Darcy spoke again.

”Can I turn on the radio?”

Laughing, in relief, you supposed, you nodded your head in affirmation, and her grin widened. Unfortunately, the second she pushed the dial to turn it on, Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” began. It wasn’t unfortunate for the two of you, no, you both freaking loved this song. It helped distract you from your thoughts and Darcy from asking any more questions.

It was unfortunate for Jane and Selvig, whose discussion was interrupted by the sudden increase of volume in the song. To ear-destroying levels.

“Hey, guys-GUYS!” Jane tried to yell, but her voice sounded meager compared to yours and Darcy’s screeching tones. She sighed, then turned back to the amused scientist.

“SHAKE IT OFF! I SHAKE IT OFF!” That pretty much continued, much to Jane’s annoyance as she tried to discuss her findings to Selvig. 

“The last seventeen occurrences...oh my god,” she grumbled, flipping through her notes. Jane took a look up at the sky, furrowing her brows. “It’s never taken this long…”

“CAUSE THE PLAYERS GONNA PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY AND THE HATERS GONNA HATE HATE...Hate...hate…”

A movement off in the distance caught your attention as it grew bigger and bigger. Apparently, Darcy saw it, too, as she ceased singing as well and began to stand up. “Um...Jane?”

“Move,” the astrophysicist ordered, getting down from the roof of the van and heading up to the seat next to the driver’s. “Go, go!” she yelled, motioning to you as Darcy yelped and pushed herself to the back seat.

“Towards that?” you said, pointing at the storm, which was growing by the second. Jane nodded, watching the storm, and you laughed hysterically. You stopped, however, when she turned to give you a raised eyebrow. “Oh. You’re serious.”

“I AM NOT DYING FOR SIX COLLEGE CREDITS!” Darcy howled from her seat in the back, as she frantically tried to use her bag to cover her head. “I’LL INTERN AT BURGER KING! DON’T LISTEN TO HER, Y/N!”

It was too late, because although you would have loved to take Darcy’s advice, Jane had already pushed the gas pedal, and you were forced to try to steer your way through the storm. “THIS IS YOUR SUBTLE ANOMALY, JANE?” Selvig cried out, cursing as you made a few bumpy turns.

“Sorry!” you said, your voice shaking slightly. To be honest, you were terrified beyond belief, but there was something about this storm that just wasn’t right…

“Y/N!” Darcy yelled, right before the driver’s side door flew open, including you with it. Your hands found the door handle, but the grip you had on it faltered as something, a body...or two... if felt like, collided with your own. Crashing to the ground, you could barely register the lessening of the storm, and the feel of the two bodies struggling to recover.

“Get the first-aid kit!” you heard Jane faintly holler. As Darcy, you presumed, cradled your quickly fainting body, Jane took care of the two bodies that collided with yours.

Speech became increasingly slurred as darkness soon settled over your mind. “Do me a favor and please don’t be dead.”

“Woah,” you distinctly heard Darcy mutter above you. “Does he need CPR? Cause I...wait a minute…”

“Where did he come from? Hey, you alright?”

“Hammer? Hammer!”

Wait...was that…?

“Yeah, we can tell you’re hammered, it’s pretty obvious.”

“Father!”

“Jane, we have to take them to the hospital.”

“T’was not Father who sent us to this realm, brother. It was the gatekeeper.”

“They’re fine! Look at them!”

“HEIMDALL! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! OPEN THE BIFROST!”

“Hospital, you go, I stay.”

“You. What realm is this?”

“Alfheim? Niflheim?”

“New Mexico?” 

“You dare threaten me, Loki of Asgard-”

“And Thor Odinson-”

“-with so puny a we-e-”

It was them, you thought hazily.  
Darcy’s and Jane’s voices were the last you heard before sleep overcame your body.

“Darcy!”

“IT’S Y/N’S BOYFRIEND, JANE!”

“Then why did you tase him?”

“They were freaking me out!”


	17. ~Can See Your Sweat~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This...I think...was mostly explaining stuff...

The gatekeeper’s lips lifted in a smirk as his appearance changed, once again, into the one of the girl with fiery red and gold hair. She paced around the room slowly, flipping the sword around with one hand. Snickering, she tossed the sword carelessly into the corner of the room.

The crown. She took it out of her coat and admired it, taking her time to examine its beauty thoroughly. Once upon a time, she was this close to having the crown’s true power to herself, the pristine essence of magic. But...unfortunately...someone just had to take it from her. Of course.

In rough terms, she could be considered a villain, an antagonist, perhaps, to one girl’s story about finding true friendship or something like that. That girl had everything, and yet, she still had to take her only source of the power she’s always needed to get away from her cruel world.

Without the girl, the crown’s magic wasn’t as powerful...at least, in her universe. In this one...it was all she could do to keep from grinning manically. After her slight modification,s he could take in as much magic as she could and use it within the crown. Such as the ones provided by the two princes.

But that wasn’t the kind of power she was seeking. The crown could not only take in magic, but had the capability to detect it as well. And, according to it, there was a being, here, in Asgard, that held the magic needed to take in different worlds of power.

She could only sigh in anticipation. The knowledge, spanning from every universe imaginable, right there in her fingertips? Knowledge she didn’t even understand the nature of?

The feeling was incredible.

The only problem was, the crown also found five sources of magic stemming from within the Asgard palace. The king, queen, both princes, and you. It was far too easy to plunge the AllFather into sleep, and the queen was already off on some meeting before she had even arrived after breaking the seal that kept Asgard hidden from her.

And to take the powers of the two princes? Please. You, however…

Judging from the fact that the king and oldest prince were warriors, and the queen and the youngest prince were sorcerers, she assumed you were somewhat a mix of both. Dangerous, she assumed.

All she had to do was use the crown’s magic to see a few of your fears and gently nudge you out.

Well, maybe forcing you out was the correct term.

“Now that they’re gone,” the girl murmured, twirling the glowing crown in her hands. “Where is the magic?”

The star shaped jewel at the center glowed slightly, and the girl leaned forward eagerly, but its light faded out quickly. She frowned, using her sleeve to wipe the jewel. Instantly, a scene appeared at the center, just barely visible. The girl squinted, frustrated, but when she saw the location…

“How is it in Earth now?”

~~~~~~  
*Dramatic Transition Inserted Here*  
~~~~~~

“Wait, wait, wait, so you know these guys, Darce?” Jane asked, after bringing you and the two men into your van.

Nodding, she pointed at the raven-haired prince eagerly. “That’s Y/N’s Reindeer Games.”

“Okay…” Jane replied slowly, then motioned to the blonde one. “What about him?”

 

Scoffing, Darcy tilted her head to see the man’s unconscious face better. “Nah. He’s pretty cut, though.”

Selvig furrowed his brows questioningly. “Where did they come from?”

Darcy closed one eye and tried to concentrate. “I think Y/N said Reindeer Games was from...Alehard?”

“Alehard,” Jane repeated.

“Not...Asgard, right?” Selvig asked, inspecting Loki’s belt with his eyes wide open in shock.

“Yeah! That’s it!” Darcy affirmed happily, oblivious to Jane’s and Selvig’s looks of disbelief and suspicion. 

Jane quickly stole a glance at Selvig before putting a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Darcy...I know that Y/N is a good friend of yours, and I don’t doubt your judgement...but…”

“The girl went missing for weeks!” Selvig bursted out. “Then she came back with a boyfriend who fell out of the sky hours later! This has crime ring written all over it!”

“Or circus ring,” Darcy piped up.

Not wanting to burst the girl’s bubble, Jane sighed and retracted her hand. “Okay, so obviously this is something we don’t want to be involved in. What we should be thinking about is what was causing those anomalies.”

“It was the rainbow bridge!” Darcy exclaimed, remembering your conversation with her.

Jane shook her head adamantly. “You know what? Let’s just take these guys to the hospital, I’m not planning on getting sued.”

“We can’t take Y/N’s boyfriend away from her!” Darcy protested. “She needs to have that experience for me!”

“Darcy-”

“Reindeer Games stays with Y/N,” Darcy stated firmly.

Rolling her eyes, Jane held her hands up in surrender. “Fine. We’ll take this blonde guy to the hospital, then drop you off with Y/N and her boyfriend at her apartment, deal?”

“Deal,” Darcy agreed, satisfied.

~~~~~~

It was a good thing Darcy knew how to get into your apartment. Without a key.

Luckily for you, she only used that skill when she needed food or something. You always had something good in the pantry.

Tapping her foot, Darcy continued to stare at where she had carefully placed the two of you, smack dab in the middle of your living room. She squinted before walking around to get a different view. “Yup, the clothes are definitely coming off,” Darcy muttered, kneeling down to begin tugging your shirt off.

“SIF’S BRASSIERE!” you yelped, scrambling up. “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW UNPRODUCTIVE THIS IS?!”

To explain…  
Darcy has always wanted you to have the experience of a good relationship. So, whenever you’re asleep, she attempts to take off your clothes and take pictures to post on her blog.

Oh, not of you naked, no. She wasn’t mean. 

Darcy took pictures of the clothes you were wearing. She thought that guys judged you based on how you dress when you go to sleep. Apparently, she’s moved on from “when you’re asleep at night” to “whenever you aren’t conscious.”

That wasn’t too bad, but it was always slightly awkward whenever you catch her in the act as she’s pulling your pants off…

Chills, right there. We’re moving on.

You heard a voice whimper from below you. Looking down, you were startled to see the raven-haired prince himself hugging his cape like it was a teddy bear. “Mother,” he whimpered, much to your open-mouthed astonishment. “May I have a Midgard kitten?”

“Wow,” Darcy said, her voice emotionless. “You picked a real winner there, Y/N.”

Sighing sharply, you looked up at your friend, still in your state of shock. “What is he doing here?”

“He fell out of the sky!” she said, sounding defensive. “He and that blonde guy.”

“Thor?” you asked in disbelief. 

Darcy nodded her head vigorously as you sat back, shaking your head. A part of you wanted to believe that Loki demanded that you return, and when Odin didn’t comply, he and Thor went looking for you. After that thought occurred, the rational part of you begged that other part to just forget that theory, lest your story become a fanfic (Oops).

In an attempt to be a good friend, Darcy guessed, “Maybe they came here looking for a kitten?”

Right on cue, Loki fidgeted slightly. “Kitten,” he called out softly, grabbing your arm, which unfortunately, was close by.

Your eyes widened as the Asgardian pulled you to his chest, sighing as he ran a hand through your hair gently. “Don’t run away, little kitten.”

Without even trying to hold it in, Darcy shoved a pillow on her face and began to laugh hysterically. “Aww, you’re his little kitten, Y/N!” Darcy exclaimed quietly, this obviously being difficult as tears were streaming down her cheeks. 

“Shut up.”

“Kitty, kitty!” she continued to tease, putting her fingers on her head, attempting to imitate the ears of a cat. “Meow, meow, meow! Come here, Lokitty! Come on, now, don’t be so low-key, come here!”

Just as you were about to fire a few choice words at her, Loki woke up, and his grip loosened, allowing for your, somewhat reluctant, escape. “Y/N?” he groaned, rubbing his head.

You were about to reply, when Darcy cut in, rushing full steam ahead. “THERE’S YOUR KITTY!” she yelled, probably waking the neighbors, as she pointed at you.

Rolling your eyes, you turned your attention back to the still-drowsy god. “So...reason you’re here, Reindeer Games?” you questioned, hopeful.

“I came here to get a Midgard kitten,” he answered sarcastically, still rubbing his eyes. 

“They are in season,” Darcy supplied.

“Shut up, Darcy,” you said, still staring at the Asgardian. “What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t come here voluntarily,” he growled, getting up. With that statement, your heart fell a little, and the rational side of your thoughts started chastising you for listening to the stupid side. 

Come on, Y/N, you’ve seen this scene way too many times, in books, in fanfics, in TV shows, for crying out loud! (Tbh, I think we all have) Girl leaves guy, guy comes back, girl hopes it’s cause he likes her, and it turns out he comes back cause he needed a ride to Vegas!

Then, after guy plays in the casino, girl gives him a potion to fall in love with her that she got from another guy named Guy who may or may not have been a crossroads demon and they get married in a nearby chapel.

*coughs* (Talking to you, Becky)

“Well, then...what?” you asked, quietly pleading for the hope of him “being all romantic and saying that looking for you wasn’t voluntary cause he needed you like he needed to breathe” didn’t enter your mind...DANGIT

“There is an imposter in Asgard,” he explained, brushing the desert sand off of his pants. “One who apparently could take the form of the gatekeeper. It was he who sent me and Thor to Midgard.”

“That’s interesting,” you said, attempting to sound stoic, while inside, you were kicking yourself for trying to turn this day into a fanfiction. Your mind didn’t even come close to trying to register what he just said. “Where’s Thor?”

Loki’s brows furrowed, but before he could voice his confusion, Darcy stepped in. “The blonde one? Jane took him to the hospital.”

“Why didn’t she take Loki to the hospital?” 

She shrugged. “I insisted he stay with you. In your apartment. Which reminds me!” 

You blinked as Darcy began gathering up the contents of her bag. “Gotta go!” she exclaimed cheerfully, shouldering her case.

“Darcy-”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

With that, she slammed the door, undoubtedly waking your next-door neighbor’s dog. In the silence that followed, you continued to stare at the door awkwardly while nervously shaking your leg. “She seemed a bit off,” Loki commented quietly.

“That’s normal,” you replied, trying to be careful with what you said. “Do you...want something to-”

“No, thank you,” he suddenly answered, walking towards the door. “I can see that my presence here is obviously unwelcome to you, so I will take my leave.”

You could only watch as he opened the door and left, wanting to say something, but knowing that it wouldn’t do a thing. “Okay,” you said, your voice echoing through the hall.

A part of you wanted to run after him, just to make sure he didn’t get into any trouble with the police, obviously, but another part wanted you to just forget about him. Cause he probably had no trouble of doing that with you.

He probably found someone else to bother, you told yourself, as you dropped your body on your bed. Someone he had more common interests with, someone who is generally more interesting, and… someone who he’d be more interested in.

Aw, crap. You have really got to stop being so dramatic.

“I AM PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE.”

“What the-” you muttered, pulling Twilight out from under you. Apparently, as you laid down, you pressed on her center, activating her voice.

“ISN’T IT AMAZING? NOW I HAVE PRINCESS WINGS?”

Sighing, you held her against your chest and rested your head on your pillow. Now that you think about it, though, you probably should go after Loki.

“WITH MY HORN, I’LL DO MAGIC AND SOAR UP IN THE SKY!”

Yeah, that’s a good idea, you thought, finally pushing yourself up to tug on your shoes. Darcy’s probably pushing him out into traffic for leaving you right now.

“ISN’T IT AMAAA-”

Suddenly, your windows slammed open, and a stream of green and silver energy coursed through it, and hit you with a blast of what felt like a thousand bombs, throwing you to your dresser. It crashed to the ground, you along with it.

“-ZIIIIIIIIIIIIING!”

That really hurt.

~~~~~~

The girl shook her head at the queen as she lay strapped to a wall in the magic-restraining dungeon. Sighing, she began to walk around the glaring woman. “Oh, Queen Frigga. I’m truly sorry for this.”

“No, I do not believe you are,” she quietly replied, her voice as proud as ever.

“Insolent, yet I have the upper hand,” the girl chuckled, taking out the crown. The queen widened her eyes, knowing that the artifact she held was one lost centuries ago, recovered only recently, and was converted into a sustainable magic source. So why did she have it?

“This isn’t the real thing,” the girl explained, apparently aware of the queen’s thoughts. “It doesn’t have nearly enough power since she sacrificed its magic to the tree, but now it cuts close, thanks to the power that was donated so generously from your kind when I discovered the portal..”

“You will never be able to use it,” Frigga growled, struggling in her restraints. “It runs on a different type of magic that Asgardians use. It will-”

“-run on that magic, then,” she finished, with a sneer on her face. “The crown itself is an object of magic, and I used my own to increase its capability, making it less picky about the nature of the magic. And while Asgardian magic is nice...there’s a different kind I’m after in this world. And...I think you know what it is”

The queen narrowed her eyes as the girl continued to speak in a mocking tone. “The magic of friendship is the most powerful of them all? Ha! Obviously, she’s never seen this kind of magic.”

“You will never find it,” Frigga whispered.

“Oh, I have a way of tracking it down,” she said, with an all-knowing smirk. “First, of course, I had to find the exact universe it was in, but it was all downhill from there. Of course, you got it to Asgard and hid from me before I could get to it, but as you can see, that’s not a problem anymore.”

“My sons-” Frigga tried to say, but the girl stopped her before she could finish.

“Are powerless to stop me,” she completed. “As in, literally powerless. I took away their powers and put them in the middle of an New Mexico desert, along with that girl hanging around them Or was it Arizona?”

At this, Frigga sensed a small glimmer of hope. If this girl had a way of tracking you, then she would know that you were on Midgard. However, seeing as she sent you to Midgard, there was a chance that you would have time to escape...

Before the Selection, she had been informed by Heimdall that a magical disturbance has taken place, a disturbance that she, the queen, knowingly had no power over. Its presence will grace the nine realms, in search for the one portal Asgard’s gatekeeper couldn’t see.

All the queen could do was inform her husband, but even then, she knew that this would produce nothing. It seemed like hope was lost...until Heimdall reported that a similar type of magic to the hostile one, but contrasted at the same time, existed in their universe. The only thing that had the ability to control the portal, he stated.

On Midgard.

The location was shrouded in such a way that the queen’s magic itself wouldn’t be able to work. The only person that could see it was Heimdall, who found out that it resided in a young maiden. With that, Frigga altered the magic used in the Selection to bring this young woman to Asgard. It wasn’t too hard, fortunately, as the girl already passed the Selection criteria with flying colors.

When she got here, however, the queen was quite delighted by the fact of how in your element you were in Asgard, though you claim otherwise. It just proved that they were on the right track. Just as an experiment, she gave you a treasure hailing from a distant land, one that if her theory was correct, you would be able to activate.

It wasn’t activated until later, how, she did not know. The magic stemming from you was there, but to the general onlooker, you seemed like a normal Midgardian. It wasn’t until a special request to meet with someone when she was fully assured of your power. Unfortunately, this meeting gave this hostile force, the girl in front of her, time to fully exterminate the only people who could defend the magic.

Frigga then wondered how was it that this girl was able to track you down to Asgard, but didn’t recognize who you were when she sent you to Midgard. It was very unusual indeed.

She thought she would have more time, but the threat looming right in front of her told her mind that this was not true. But if what she speculated was true...

Swallowing weakly, she glared at the girl grinning at her from outside her cell. “If you already know where she is, then why don’t you have her magic yet?”

Her smirk wavered for a brief moment. “I...don’t have the exact location,” she said slowly. Frigga sighed in relief, but she wasn’t done. “But believe me when I say, it will be mine within a few hours. A few allies of mine are hot on the trail right now.”

The queen finally closed her eyes, shaking her head. “Who are you?”

“I am-”

“I AM PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE!”

She whipped her head around angrily, dropping the crown on her head. “Where are you?” the girl growled. 

“ISN’T IT AMAZING? NOW I HAVE PRINCESS WINGS!”

“Shut up!” she yelled, throwing a ball of explosive green energy at the ceiling.

“WITH MY HORN, I’LL DO MAGIC, AND SOAR UP IN THE SKY!”

“NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR HORN, TWILIGHT!” she snarled. It didn’t occur to her that Twilight’s voice sounded muffled, and of a recording. No, all that mattered to her was that that stupid princess wouldn’t mess with her plans using “the magic of friendship” again.

It was annoying when she did that long speech about how “friendship is good” and “friends last forever” and all that crap.

“ISN’T IT AMAAAAAA-”

The crown began to heat uncomfortably on her head rapidly, to the point where the girl had to take it off. As she did, however, her eyes lit up in shock and horror. “No, no,” she muttered, banging the crown on the wall. Unfortunately, this made the situation worse.

“As I stated,” Frigga said, her normal nature returning. “You will never be able to use it.”

“Not yet!” she howled, as green and silver mist began flowing out of the crown. The swirls of energy spiraled out the only exit out the dungeon, into the late night Asgardian sky, and through the empty mass of space.

To Midgard.

~~~~~~

Loki had never felt more embarrassed in all of his life.

Right after he exited your apartment, he was immediately ambushed by three men, knocked out, and in his dream, he was stuffed in the trunk of a Midgardian form of transport, something he remembered his mother called, a car.

The Asgardian woke up, blinking as a bright light was shined upon his face. “Is this him, Cas?” a low voice asked from the right of him.

“Yes, Dean,” another male voice answered, this time directly in front of him.

“Hey, wake up,” yet another voice ordered, and a bucket full of water collided with the god’s face.

Now he knew what you felt like.

Loki shook his head vigorously, now wide awake, and glared at the three men staring at him. The one directly in front of him looked familiar, but he wasn’t too concerned with figuring out exactly where he saw him before. “Was that necessary?” he asked evenly.

The man with shoulder length brown hair was the only one with the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Sam,” the man to the right of him growled, grabbing the god’s collar. Immediately, Loki attempted to slam his fist to his body, but was, admittedly, shocked to find that his arms were shackled together, and that his body was completely strapped to the chair.

“Listen, you mewling quim-” Loki started, but before he could finish, the man holding him held a gun to his face.

“You don’t look anything like Gabriel,” he noted, his voice still a deep growl. “How did he pull that off again?”

“This really isn’t necessary, Dean,” the man with the trench coat said, stepping forward. “He isn’t the threat here.”

“I’ll have you know, I am most certainly a threat,” Loki snarled, trying to untie his hands, but to no avail. Whatever these mortal men used, it appears to be able to withstand the strength of Asgardians.

The man called Dean snickered. “Yeah, you’re definitely something compared to the devil. You do realize that we didn’t even have to work that hard to get you in the trunk, right?”


End file.
